Friday Odds and Ends

• I made it through my first week of school and I believe it's going to be a lot less stressful than last semester. There will be a lot more papers due, but I'm excited! I don't mean to be such a nerd, but the papers are going to be really interesting (especially my Sports Journalism papers) and I really want to throw myself into seeking out interesting stories, improve on my interviewing skills, and put my entire heart into the writing. I always have this fire in my belly when I begin a semester, but let life take over and don't really put my heart and soul into my schoolwork. I want to change that. I want to keep that fire in my belly throughout the entire 17 weeks. And I want to turn out some of the best stories I've ever written.
  
  
• I have a long break between my classes, Tuesdays - Thursdays, which I planned on just staying at school for. Tuesday, I stayed and holy cow, it was long! I managed to catch up e-mails, blogs, and vlogs but I was bored silly! It's about a 3-hour break on Tuesdays and Thursdays and a 4-hour break on Wednesdays, so I'm probably going to start coming home during that time. I only live about 15 minutes from school, and may start staying there when homework gets heavy, but for now, I'll be coming home and using that time to decompress before class. (Have I mentioned how happy I am about my schedule this semester?!)
  
  
• I'm taking a class called Social Media this semester, as I mentioned, and it's probably going to be one of the most interesting classes I've ever taken. I really love everything about social media and would love to find a job that incorporates that. For people who use Twitter, what types of social media kings/queens should I be following?! I know some of you are so much more involved with this type of stuff than I am, and I'd love to learn more about them!
  
  
• I'm trying to come to terms with taking a step back from blogging. It tore me up last semester, but I think the best thing for me to do is to blog when I can. Lately, I've been trying to write my posts on the weekends and schedule them throughout the week. I'm going to try my best to keep up with your blogs (especially the ones in my "Must Reads" folder in Google Reader), but I'm not promising anything. And I'm trying to be OK with that. I'm so consumed with this blog community and making sure all of you know how awesome I think you are, but sometimes life gets in the way.
  
  
• In awesome news, my grandma just finished up her chemotherapy earlier this month and had a PET scan on Tuesday to check to see if cancer had come back. The good news is that her scan came back mostly clean. The bad news is that they found a tiny spot near her colon that they believe is nothing, but want her to get a colonoscopy just to make sure. I'm happy, though. My grandma has said that if the cancer comes back, she's not going through chemo again. It really takes everything out of her and makes her so sick and weak. She'll be 70 in a few years. Her body, her decision. So now I'm just praying her cancer doesn't come back, because it's scary to think of a world without my grandma.
  
  
• On the other end of the spectrum, my uncle is in the hospital. He was having chest pains, numbness, weakness, and a high heart rate on Wednesday night and was taken by ambulance to the hospital. Throughout the night, they couldn't get his heart rate down. I'm writing this blog on Thursday night and as of right now, they're not sure what is causing his high heart rate or chest pains or anything. It's extremely scary and I'm hoping we can find out what's going on tomorrow.
  
  
• I have to buy 7 books this semester, and managed to find 3 of them at my library! This has never happened in any semester, so I'm super thrilled, especially considering my Spanish textbooks will be around $150. They do have my Spanish textbook at the library, but it's checked out. Still, it saved me at least $40-$50 for those three.
  
  
• My mom had another x-ray on her elbow, which showed the fracture is healing. She still can't use her elbow and can't go back to her second job until October at the earliest. He also noticed a subtle clicking when she turned her wrist, which could mean her bone had shifted a little and was rubbing against the other bone in her forearm, which in turn means possible surgery down the road. For now, he's not too worried about it and thinks it could heal on its own. In all her other areas, she's healing very nicely! Her scar where her stitches were is barely recognizable, although the area is still pretty tender. She's also dealing with some anxiety/fear so I'm trying my best to give her the support she needs. I just want to fast forward to November and have this just be totally over!
  
  
• I really have no weekend plans. Get my planner caught up, do some homework, and just relax. I know this is going to be one of my last easy weekends for a while so I'm going to try to enjoy it!

Confessions, Part 2

I started this series, oh, 5 months ago? And I haven't come back to it. Until today. Get ready for some confessions...

1. I am terrible at remembering to bring in my reusable shopping bags when grocery shopping. I probably remember it once in every 5 trips.

2. I have never had my own car. This doesn't bother me as much as it did when I was in high school.

3. I still don't like running. But I'm trying real hard to!

4. I hate Chinese food.

5. I'm a grammar Nazi, but have never understood prepositions. And I don't think I ever will.

6. I have never seen any of the Harry Potter movies, and have only read the first two books.

7. Every time I see a long stretch of grass, I feel this insane urge to do a round-off, back handspring, with a twist. I don't know why. I've never been in gymnastics and can barely do a round-off.

8. My mom and I might have a minor obsession with Ziploc containers. Best invention of this decade? I think so!

9. For about 2 months, I ate a whole-wheat English muffin with just a smidge of peanut butter for breakfast. And now the thought of English muffins makes me want to throw up.

10. I also can't stand the thought of Cup O' Noodle soup. I ate one every day after school in middle school and haven't been able to handle even the smell of them since.

11. Honestly, I think my dog thinks he's my boyfriend. And he's a clingy one, at that.

12. I'm not a shoe person. Usually, I buy one pair of $15 Target flip-flops and wear them until they get worn down, and then buy a new pair.

13. I am completely obsessed with Days Of Our Lives. I think it's pretty amazing how long they can stretch out one teeny plotline.

14. I was 19 the first time I ever dyed my hair.

15. I have never been to a different time zone, other than Eastern. I need to travel more.

Letters to My Future Husband: My Role As Your Wife

My love,

For awhile now, you have been the focus of my letters. I've written about what qualities and values I want you to have - trivial or not. I've written about how excited I am to meet you, but how I'm willing to wait until the time is right. But now it's time to talk about me. More specifically, it's time to talk about my role as your future wife.

One of my biggest aspirations in being your wife is to be someone who draws you closer to Jesus. I want to strengthen your faith, build it up, and keep you focused on Him. I don't want to make you doubt your faith. I see us attending Bible studies together, praying together, and sharing what God has done in our lives together. We are choosing to place God at the center of our relationship and I would never want you to cherish my feelings over His. I want to be able to place my feelings aside when it comes to what God is telling you. God first, in everything.

I want to be a good communicator. Right now, it's something I really need to work on because I tend to keep my feelings locked up tight, not letting on when something someone has said or done has hurt me. I want to get better at expressing my emotions and talking through my problems. I don't want to be the "typical female" who says she's fine when really, she wants to punch you in the face for that insensitive comment. Communication is such a huge part of any relationship, be it romantic or otherwise. This needs to be one of the cornerstones of our marriage. We need to be rock star communicators.

I want to have fun with you. I want you to be my best friend. All too often, I hear people complain about their significant others in derogatory ways. They bash their husbands and wives, talk down about them, and make me wonder why they even married them at all. I don't want to be that type of wife that goes running to my circle of friends to bash you whenever we have a fight. I want to respect our marriage, respect that we will have disagreements, and respect your role as the leader of our family. I want our marriage to look different than many of the ones I see on a daily basis. I want us to actually like each other as friends and want to be with each other.

All I know is that I'm really looking forward to becoming your wife. It's going to be my best role to date.

I can't wait to meet you.

I love you,
Stephany

The Unbloggables

As you well know, I'm pretty open on my blog. I talk about a variety of topics, ranging from weight struggles to religion. I don't play it safe most times and I really try to let you see my heart through my postings. But there are certain topics I will not talk about on my blog, the unbloggables. (And yes, it is a word!)

• Family. While I'll celebrate the good times with my family through blog posts, I will never air our dirty laundry to the blog world. I think it's distasteful and when it comes to extended family, I don't feel like it's my story to tell. I have learned from hard experience that airing your family's dirty laundry is never a good idea.
• Work. I work at a preschool where I'm legally obligated to live by the axiom, "What happens at preschool, stays at preschool." While I would love to show you pictures of these sweet munchkins who have completely captivated my heart, I can't. And while sometimes I need a place to vent about workplace strife, I won't. This is not the place for that.
• Internship. I try to be as discreet as possible when I do talk about my internship, never fully delving into exactly where I work or the kind of work I do. A lot of it has to be kept in house. Again, not the place.
• TMI stuff. I don't really enjoy reading TMI postings, especially sexual exploits and the like. There's not too much happening in my life that would involve a TMI post, anyway. Unless we want to talk about having to go to the bathroom during the middle of a run or that very special time of the month. Not happening.
• Politics. The big reason why I don't talk about politics on this blog is because I feel so uneducated on the subject. I know talking about politics can bring the ugly out in some people and, honestly, my heart can't take it. I take things way too personally so mean comments would destroy me. Plus, I like Obama and I'm not of the mind that bashing our president is helpful.

What are some of YOUR unbloggables? Does your list look anything like mine?

The Night Before I Begin a New Semester

I'm writing this post as a stream of consciousness the night before I start Fall semester. I have so many emotions rolling around in my head that the only proper way to get them out is to just let them flow naturally, with no thought to grammar or focus.

I've been rotating between feelings of excitement and feelings of anxiousness about starting a new semester. Last semester took everything out of me and having a break for 4 months (aside from my 6-week class) has been amazing. It's been nice to work, then come home and either take a nap or just chill out around the house. No responsibilities, no pressing assignments. It was nice.

I don't even know how much I'll be blogging once school starts. Right now, I'm also doing all the housework and cleaning. Who knew such a small apartment could get so dirty so fast?! I have a few blog posts already written, but I know this semester is going to be pretty crazy. I don't think it'll be as crazy as last semester but I am taking two courses heavy on the writing, one course heavy on the studying, and another course heavy on the research.

I enter every semester with big plans to stretch myself, really research for good stories, and put all my effort into my classes. And within 3 weeks, I'm back to just doing enough to get by with an A or B, but not doing much to stretch myself as a writer. I have big plans this year. I'm taking some exciting classes, like Magazine Feature Writing and Social Media, that make me anxious to get started with this semester. I feel like I'm going to learn so much more about journalism and media, and also about myself through this semester.

I don't think I'm going to be as stressed as I was last semester. For one thing, I'll only be interning one day a week (still toying with Mondays or Wednesdays). For another, I have long breaks between my classes on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. I won't be jumping from work mode to school mode to internship mode.

In other great news, my brother and I did our fantasy draft on Saturday. I managed to score Tom Brady, Peyton Manning, AND Drew Brees as my QB's. I also got Adrian Peterson, Larry Fitzgerald, and Randy Moss. My brother got some all-stars as well, so I think it's going to be an amazing season for us! I about killed him last season so I need some competition. Hehehe.

I feel so behind on blog stuff. Saturday night, I had to do the dreaded "Mark All As Read" in Google Reader because I had 162 unread blog posts to get to and knew I would never get to them by the time Monday rolled around. My "blogiversary" was yesterday and months ago, I had big plans on how I was going to celebrate - have my own domain, giveaways, etc. - but I did nothing. I just let it pass.

I have nothing else to say, other than I'm nervous about this semester. I'm nervous about how I'll do, how I'll handle the course load, and what kind of assignments will be thrown at me. I know I can handle it. I just have to prove it to myself again. Hopefully, I won't have too many whiny blog posts this time around.

Fit Fridays, Vol. 6

I'm writing this at 9:30pm, which is unusual for me. I don't like putting off my blog this late and I'm sure it's not going to make much sense. I'm totally behind on responding to comments, commenting on blogs, watching VEDA vlogs and commenting, and cleaning. I could never be a single mom. #justsayin (OK, now I'm using hashtags on my blog. I need sleep.)

Want an update on my mom? Of course you do! Here's the breakdown:

• Fractured elbow: We saw a orthopedic on Wednesday where the cute doc told her that if she had to break her elbow, that's exactly how she wanted to break it. Basically, she broke the part of her elbow that rotates her wrist, although she can rotate her wrist pretty freely. It's still very sore, though. She's having another x-ray on Wednesday to see how the break is healing so lots of prayers will be greatly appreciated!
• Stitches on her eyebrow: We went to the hospital - where my mom was treated like a celebrity by all the nurses we saw last Friday! - and got her stitches removed and that cut is healing very nicely. She's going to have a pretty nice scar, but hey, it adds character, right?
• Cuts on her knees/elbows/hands: Right now, we only have to bandage up her left hand, right elbow, and left knee. Most of them are scabbed up and now itching her pretty badly, which is a good sign to me! I do think I need to buy stock in non-adhesive bandages and gauze wrap. I'm also getting a pro at bandaging her up!
• Sprained thumb: Her thumb is still pretty sore, and her orthopedic said it's probably sprained. Her nail is hanging on, but still very bruised up all around her thumb and wrist.
• Glasses: I didn't mention this, but my mom scratched up her glasses on the lens and frames. So we took them into Visionworks where she has new ones ordered. Thank God for insurance!

So that's the jist on what's happening with my mom. I've been busy with taking care of her, taking care of the house, being the chauffeur, and cooking meals. I never realized how much my mom does around here! I really need to be better at helping her when I can, even though she never complains. She went back to work on Tuesday but is taking the next 2 weeks off her Saturday job, since she works with her hands a lot more there. Her boss was very understanding, just wanting her to get better!

In Fit Friday news, this week was horrible, health-wise. I was all about eating my emotions and using stress as reasoning to why I'm eating badly. Basically, I ate bad on Friday and Saturday and just called the rest of the week a wash. This is my biggest problem when it comes to weight loss. I don't see it as a journey, I see it as a weekly report. I really need to work on this.

As for exercise, I only exercised on Sunday which was a poor attempt at a run. My main problem with that run was that I ran at 11am, when it was 95 degrees out. That was not my best idea.

I'm determined to do better this week. I don't want to give in to my emotions and use stress as an excuse to eat poorly and not exercise. If anything, I need to exercise to release endorphins which will make me feel better about myself. And eating poorly, in turn, just makes me feel poor. And very sluggish.

I'm sticking to my goals I made last week: no water at work and exercise 4 days a week. I'm also going to add to my list to start powering down at 9pm. I want to shut everything off and just relax in my bed for a good period of time, letting my mind shut off slowly which I think will help me sleep better and feel more rested. I'm going to have a busy semester ahead of me, and I need all the energy I can get!

Weight
Starting Weight (as of February 21, 2010): 151.2 lbs
Current Weight (as of August 12, 2010): 146.2 lbs
Weight Lost This Week: +.2 lbs
Total Weight Lost: -5 lbs

50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind, Part 2

6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?

Writing for pleasure, such as writing for this blog, feature pieces for magazines, and fiction. Writing is my number one passion and I couldn't last a day without it. Writing for this blog fills me with such joy and happiness, and being a part of this amazing community does the same.

I think I would also like to take trips around the United States and world to visit blog friends, because some of you are closer to me than my own real life friends.

7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?

Hands down, I'm settling. I'm working at a job that's not really going to do much to further my career, other than helping me deal with stressful situations and instill work ethic. And I don't feel as if I put enough effort into school that I need to be. Every semester, I arm myself with notebooks and planners and the determination to make this one the Best One Yet and I never do. I become lazy around the fourth week and start settling for what is comfortable and familiar.

And while I don't know if I'm doing what I believe in at my internship, I am doing work that fulfills and challenges me. I feel happy each day I arrive and maintain that attitude throughout the day.

8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?

First of all, how sad would life be if this were true? I wouldn't have my mom around or my grandparents or many of my mentors. Also, I would have less than 12 years to live! Eep! While I think I would still be concerned with school and writing, I would also want to live my life more freely. I wouldn't have to worry about saving for a long period of time or opening any time of investment.

I would be more concerned with settling down, though, and having kids. I would want as much time possible with them before I died.

9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?

I think it's important for me to take responsibility and say I have controlled it a lot. (While yes, I do credit God for steering my ship, as well.) I'm the one who has made some bad decisions and good decisions. I chose education over journalism, prolonging my undergrad experience and putting me in situations I should never have been in. I let my dad walk all over me, until I finally had enough. I am the girl who strives to be someone people can count on and talk to.

Whose to say where the next 22 years will take me? I hope I still have a semblance of control over my life and can make good decisions and embrace the bad ones for the lessons they'll bring me.

10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?

I am definitely more worried about doing the right things. I know everyone has a moral compass hidden deep within their layers and some of us choose to adhere to what it's telling us, others do not. Morally and ethically, I know what's right and I know what I need to do to keep my conscience clean and God proud of me. I know that feeling I get in the pit of my stomach when I do something wrong and I hate it.

I just know that I want to be known as a good person and someone who touched lives. I feel like I'm honoring and respecting myself more when I listen to my moral compass and do the right thing.

Halfsies?

Lately, I've begun to question if I can really pull off this half-marathon. While my training is going pretty good and I am surprising myself so much with how far I can run, I feel like I am going to die after just running 2 miles. I do it, but the going gets really hard. I'm not aiming to place or set any great records, but I do want to run most of the race. I know I have 3 more months, but it's only going to get tougher from here.

Another issue I have is the price of the race. I haven't registered yet and the price now until race day is $100. That is a lot of money for me considering I have credit cards to pay, school tuition due in October, books to buy for school, a parking pass to purchase... I really don't know where I'm going to come up with another hundred bucks. Add to the fact that I really need to buy new running shoes as the ones I have now are literally falling apart and sometimes causing me shin splints, I don't know what to do.

This decision is made even harder by the fact that Caitlin, my go-to girl for running advice (even if she doesn't know it!), says she wouldn't pay more than $60 for a half-marathon. Am I paying too much for this one? It's not even benefiting any type of great cause!

My training schedule is going pretty good, all things considering. I've been able to complete my runs, but they are hard. A part of me wants to work towards running a 5K in September, a 10K in November or December, and a half-marathon in March or April. It seems like it might be a more normal racing plan for someone who hasn't done many races and doesn't consider herself a runner. (And currently talks about herself in third person.)

In a way, quitting this half-marathon training seems like another failure to check off on my list of Things I've Started But Never Finished. I make these grand plans of things I'm going to do (get to bed at a decent hour, make straight A's, lose weight, write a novel), but never seem them come to fruition. I know it doesn't mean I'm quitting running and I'll still be training to run a 5K, but it still leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Then again, I don't know if this was just an insane plan to give myself - me, someone who has never been able to complete even a 5K. Maybe it would be easier to ease myself into running.

Tell me: what do you think? Should I just put the half-marathon on hold until Spring? Or find a way to pay the race fee and get over myself?

Ten on Tuesday (Vol. 20)

I realize I left you guys hanging about the accident itself. Basically, we're dealing with a lot of issues since my mom did walk away from it, without getting any names or information. (She was in such a state of shock, that thought didn't even cross her mind until later.) They did get out and tried to help, but have not reported the accident (although we have). And we could run into problems of medical bills, since her health insurance may not cover it. Like they say, when it rains, it pours.

On a lighter note, let's do a "Ten on Tuesday"!

1. Where did you go to college?

University of South Florida. And I'm still there. I'll be here forever, quite possibly.

2. What did you study?

Cute, you think I graduated! Ah, I wish. Currently, I'm studying Journalism & Media Studies. It's fun, although I'm more into the media and marketing side of things than journalism.

3. Was college really all that it was cracked up to be?

It's not anything like they show you in movies, that's for sure! No crazy parties, late night studying, or classes with a million students. I've had maybe 2 or 3 classes where I've had 50+ students. (I think this also has to do with the fact that I go to a smaller sized school, and took all my general ed courses in a community college.)

Still, I like college. I've been challenged and have had some amazing professors. I've met some great people and I just generally like learning. (Super nerd alert?)

4. How far were you from home?

My first year, I was about 30 miles away but then I started commuting my second and third year. When I changed my major from Education to Journalism, I switched over to their St. Petersburg campus, which is where I am now. It's only 10 miles away from where I live.

5. Did you have the same roommate all four years?

I had one roommate my first year and it was the worst living situation in the history of college dorm roommates. We were so different and barely spoke one word to each other. Thankfully, she moved onto another floor with another roommate by Spring semester so I had the dorm to myself for 5 whole months. It was great!

6. Where did you order food from at 2am?

I don't. I'm asleep at 2am. Always.

7. Did you date in college or were you tied down?

Here's a fun fact: I haven't been in a relationship since 2004, and really, we can't even call that a relationship. To answer your question, no.

8. Funniest drunk college moment?

I've never been drunk, actually. While it seems like it might be a fun time, I'm not too keen on the hangover the next morning. I try to avoid all possible situations of vomiting, thanks.

9. Did you make it to class on time?

Usually. Last semester was hard with my Tuesday/Thursday class since I got off work at 10:30am and had to rush to class, which was at 11. I usually made it a few minutes before, or a few minutes late. And since I like to be at least 10 minutes early to class, this was not acceptable for me.

10. What was your favorite class in college?

My favorite class has probably been Magazine Design. If you read my blog any time from January - May, you know how much stress it put on me. I went from feeling as if InDesign was going to take my life to feeling as if I totally owned that program. My first assignments were total duds but my magazine turned out so super awesome, that I have to credit it as my favorite. I've never learned so much, or put so much work into, one class.

She's a Warrior - And Has the Battle Scars To Prove It

I'm not even sure how to write this blog post. I've started and deleted it multiple times. This weekend was a tough one for me, but an even tougher one for my mom. It was filled with ups and downs, pain and a few doses of laughter. I guess I should start off where it all began, which was Friday morning.

My mom was hit by a car on Friday morning. It was around 6:00am and she was doing her morning run, as she usually does. As she was running across the sidewalk of a shopping center, she was hit. She was able to walk home* on her own and let me tell you, seeing your mother with blood all over her face, arms, legs, and clothes is one of the scariest sights in the world. But she was walking, talking, and completely coherent so I knew her injuries couldn't be all that bad.

We got to the emergency room around 6:30 and were there for 5 hours where she had multiple x-rays and a CAT scan done. Her biggest problems were a fractured elbow and laceration above her eye, requiring two rows of stitches. She also cut herself up good on her knees, elbows, and hands, as well as bruising up her thumb.

As a side note, I just want to say what an awesome staff the hospital we went to had. We went to Bardmoor Emergency Center which was just built a few years ago and is pretty top of the line. The staff was amazing there, as well. The doctor who stitched up my mom was pretty spectacular, even stopping halfway through the process to get my mom a Diet Pepsi and blueberry muffin! And they were so thorough in their x-ray process and making sure she didn't have any gravel/debris in her skin. They actually were out of our way, but I'm so happy we went there. (Plus, we had zero wait time!)

We left the hospital around 11:30, armed with information on her injuries and a prescription for a painkiller and an antibiotic. I went to Walgreens to fill those and then got my mom home. If seeing my mom with blood all over her was a horrible sight, getting her from the car to the apartment was even worse. After sitting for a good 6 hours and then having to walk in the 90-degree heat to the apartment made my mom extremely dizzy. It's about 30 steps from our car to our apartment and twice she fell down she was so dizzy. The second time, her eyes blanked for a second and that, my friends, is the scariest sight in the world. My mom's CAT scan came back clean, but they did send me home with a paper talking about the minor head trauma she experienced and if she got dizzy, she needed to go to the ER. To say I was scared is an extreme understatement. She hasn't had any dizzy spells since then and we think it was just the heat getting to her because she's been fine since then.

The rest of the weekend consisted of me playing nursemaid, making sure her glass was always filled with Diet Coke and took her pain medication. (Although she's only had 1 painkiller and has been taking ibuprofen for the pain instead.) We've been catching up on our DVR (and I'm getting hooked on Days of our Lives), watching movies, reading, and just celebrating the fact that my mom is alive and well, and I'm not sitting in a hospital room while I figure out how to live with a paraplegic, or making funeral plans.

This experience does make me a little frightened to run outside. I run in a suburban area, but there is a lot of traffic and a lot of stores. There are many times I have to watch out for cars as I cross streets and places where cars will be coming in. I'm usually very cautious about this, but now I'm even more so. I won't be wearing dark clothing, no matter what time of day it is. And my mom and I will be heading to Sports Authority to buy her more reflective clothing to wear. (And maybe a headlamp!) It's also made me more cautious of pedestrians and whenever I turn into a shopping center or onto a street, I'm doing it much more slowly and with more awareness to my surroundings.

The bottom line is, my mom is OK. Her injuries are very minor, in comparison to what could have happened. She's feeling pretty rough right now, and keeps saying how stupid she was, but she is alive. Her spirits are high, most of the time. And she will still be running that marathon in January. I'm making sure of it.

Fit Fridays: A Bad Start

While my results didn't show it, I had a very bad week. For most of the week, I was knocked down by sickness and exhaustion. I wasn't sleeping enough at night and when I'm sick, I really need to get 8-9 hours of good, soundless sleep to feel normal. Unfortunately, this didn't happen for me. I averaged 5-6 hours every night, which just left me so tired during the day that I had to come home and take a nap.

Because of this, I only ended up exercising twice this week. On my Saturday run, I was scheduled to run 2.25 miles but it was pretty terrible. It was the second time I didn't manage to run the entire time and it seriously discouraged me. My breathing was off the entire time, making me feel like I had sprinted for 15 minutes after running for just a minute. Luckily, my Sunday run (also 2.25 miles) went amazing. I ran it with my mom, which pushes me to keep on truckin' when I just want to quit, and finished it! My pace was slow (13:24) but I'm not running for speed - I'm just running to finish!

Those runs were just it for exercise this week, other than a walk to the store on Wednesday, so that's an area I need to amp up in. While ideally, I'd like to exercise 5-6 times a week, I'm bringing it down to 4 times because I know myself and I know that's the most I'll be able to do when school starts. My plan is to run Saturdays, Sundays, and Wednesdays. Tuesdays, I want to do some other type of exercise - elliptical training, biking, strength-training, and/or yoga. (I also want to add in strength-training on Saturdays after my run, since it's something that will be on my schedule every Saturday once I start the half-marathon part of my training.)

I tracked my food up until Tuesday. I was doing good with that, even if I did use up all my 35 extra points by Monday. And then my mom mentioned the word "cookies." One of the tips I learned from Weight Watchers is that there are just certain foods you can't keep in your house. All it's going to do is derail your journey of health. (But let me be clear - you can eat anything on Weight Watchers, just in moderation. Nothing is off limits.) One of those foods is cookies. We can't keep cookies in our house. They derail us. And they definitely derailed us this week.

While I made a goal to drink 48oz of water this week, that most definitely did not happen. At all. I did drink more this week than I have in about a month, but closer to 24oz than 48. I think giving myself such a high standard was bad news bears. It's like going from being totally sedentary to exercising 5 days a week for an hour. That's just not going to happen. So instead of giving myself specific ounces to drink, I want to focus on specific situations. This week, I want to focus on drinking water at work. Lately, I've been buying sodas more often at work, even though I have water to get me through the day. I want to stop that and at the very least, drink my entire 24oz of water at work. I've done that before, and it usually works out just fine. I want to slowly incorporate water more and more into my life until it becomes something my body craves. I will get there.

Onto my results!

Weight
Starting Weight (as of February 21, 2010): 151.2 lbs
Current Weight (as of August 12, 2010): 146 lbs
Weight Lost This Week: - 1.8 lbs
Total Weight Lost: -5.2 lbs

Thursday Tidbits

• Can I just say how amazing the comments on yesterday's post were? I was so nervous about the response I would receive, but every single comment made me smile - and some even made me tear up a little! I love you guys.
  
  
• I still have a week to go before my next hair appointment and my hair is driving me crazy! While it's still maintaining a semblance of blonde (thankfully, my natural color is closer to blonde than brown!), the length is driving me nuts. It's hitting about half an inch above my shoulders which makes it flip out. I'm definitely going to have to keep my appointments 7-8 weeks apart.
  
  
• Every time I hear about someone working on a freelance article, my heart sinks. A big part of me really wants to start trying to score some work this way, but a bigger part is too nervous about failing.
  
  
• My ankle is pretty much completely healed. It's still a little tender after work and standing on it all day, but I can run on it with no problem! This makes me so happy!
  
  
• Speaking of running, is it weird that I find motivation in how I'm going to tweet about my run? Sometimes, it keeps me running if I tell myself, "Think about what an awesome Twitter status you could write!" (OK, don't answer that. It's definitely on the crazy side.)
  
  
• I've been sick all week, which has really messed with my healthy eating/exercise. I only managed to get in 2 runs on Saturday and Sunday, but have been way too exhausted during the week to do more than work, come home, take a long nap, and sit on the couch. Plus, being sick likes me makes me super hungry and feel nauseous when I don't eat. It hasn't been good.
  
  
• I've been looking around at where to buy my domain and I found that you can do it through Wordpress, which costs $5 more than if you were to buy it from a place like GoDaddy and use Wordpress. Is this the best option, or should I still use GoDaddy? This domain buying stuff is very confusing!
  
  
• After reading BlogHer tweets/recaps from the past two years, I'm making it a priority to get to BlogHer '11 in San Diego. I just need a roommate and someone who's not afraid to be tied to a socially awkward girl who finds it hard to talk to people in big groups. (Oh, I know. I sound like a CATCH!)
  

On Why I'm Choosing to Wait

I was recently personally attacked by someone I care deeply about on my decision to wait until I was married to live with my spouse and have sex with them. While I do feel like this is an unusual choice this day and age (even amongst the Christian sector), I don't understand why someone would get offended by my choice.

This is my personal decision. I'm not saying that I think everyone has to live this way, or that you're a bad person by living with your girlfriend or boyfriend before marriage. In fact, I am envious that you have found someone you love so much, you want to be with them 24/7. Finding love is not always easy, and staying in love can be even harder.

I don't believe that you don't truly know someone before you live with them. While yes, living with someone is completely different than going on dates or sharing a hotel room for a weekend, all you are learning is surface things. You're learning how they are a neat freak or OCD about keeping lights turned off when a room isn't being used. You're learning that they keep their toothbrush by the sink, instead of hanging in the specified toothbrush holder. You learn that they don't think making their bed or keeping up with the laundry is their top priority, but making sure every bill is paid on time. You learn that they like the snooze button in the morning or jump right out of bed. You learn if your partner is a morning person or a night person. Learning these things shouldn't make you fall out of love with your spouse. If it does, your love probably wasn't strong enough to begin with.

I think there's something to be said about having a romantic relationship where sex and kissing isn't the center of the relationship. You learn how to be a friend first, a lover second. You learn how to be romantic without a kiss. You get to know the person's heart in a deeper, more intimate fashion. In some ways, knowing a person's heart can be more intimate and require more trust than the physical aspect of love.

I'm waiting for my wedding day to share my first kiss with my future husband. I'm waiting for my wedding night to give him my virginity. And I will wait until we are one to share a home with him. It's a personal decision, something I have thought long and hard about. It feels right to me. Choosing to live with your girlfriend or boyfriend before marriage doesn't make you a bad person in my eyes. It just means you are choosing a different path to your love story.

Ten on Tuesday (Vol. 19)

[source]

1. Do you have an innie or an outie?

I have an innie. I would also say I have a cute belly button, but nobody ever gets to see it. That is all.

2. What kind of milkshake do you order?

I don't order too many milkshakes, unless I'm at Steak-N-Shake. And then I go a little crazy. At Steak-N-Shake, I like to order their Double Chocolate Fudge milkshake. Oh, it is good! (Also, I just looked at their website, and now I really want a steak burger, some fries, and a milkshake.)
3. How often do you repeat outfits at work?

Considering my work attire is khakis and work shirts, weekly if not daily. During the winter, I wore my same khaki pants every single day. (They were my only pair.) I do have 5 different work shirts (3 polo's, 2 t-shirts) that I rotate through. It's never anything spectacular, though. I can't wait to have a job where I can dress cute!

4. What are your feelings about thank you notes?

I love receiving them, but I'm horrible at writing them. Writing them is the hardest part! Sometimes, there is so much you want to say, but you don't want to get too mushy or cheesy. And other times, you have no idea what to say! It's definitely not a fun process, and I don't envy anyone who has to do it. (I'm looking at you, Kelly!)

5. Do you like spicy food?
Not particularly. There isn't too much spicy food my mouth can handle. I like chili but I'm not a big fan of wings. Heck, I can only handle half a piece of Big Red gum! (I'm dead serious!)

6. How many toilet paper squares do you use?

Usually, during this most personal time for me, I just take hold of the hanging toilet paper and pull until I get a good number of squares. There's no set number, just whatever feels right.

7. Were you in Girl Scouts?

No, though I desperately wanted to be one!

8. Notebooks/Journals: College ruled? Wide Ruled? No lines? Spiral Bound? Plain front? Decorative?

College-ruled, spiral bound, with some sort of decoration on them.

9. Do you snack throughout the day? What do you pack for snacks?

I do. I'm bad at snacking. I'm trying to get better at snacking healthy but it's hard to break bad habits. Some common snacks: string cheese, yogurt, chocolate, 100-calorie packs, crackers, ice cream.

10. What is your favorite month? Why?

November! It's my birthday month, Thanksgiving (my favorite holiday), football is on, and it's a precursor to the holiday season. Everything about November is great!

Head on over to Roots & Rings to read more answers & submit your link.

Elsewhere

Today, I'm guest-posting over at Emily Jane's blog where I talk about my views on my libraries are better than bookstores. Head on over and let me know if you agree or disagree. I'd love to hear your thoughts!

[comments closed]

Fit Fridays: Back to the Basics

Back in March, I started this series and it only lasted 2 weeks. I'm still not totally sure I'm up for doing a series on my weight loss (or lack thereof), but I also think this is a great avenue for me to talk through my weight issues and get some feedback.

I thought about not telling anyone, aside from real life friends, about my weight loss goals. I wanted to keep it a secret, something private for me to succeed at without worrying about disappointing my readers. But I quickly scrapped that plan because I do need the support I find from this blog. You guys motivate me, cheer me on, and help me get back on my feet when I fall down. I love you guys. A lot. (But not in a creepy, stalker kind of way.)

So here I am. Crawling back to this blog to talk about my weight loss struggles and how far I've fallen after doing so well for a few months.

The last time I attended a Weight Watchers meeting was June 27. Since then, I haven't been at my healthiest. I haven't been tracking what I've eaten. I have consumed a lot of fast food. Soda has been my drink of choice and water has been my least resort. I haven't exercised as much as I ought to, whether due to injury or just plain laziness. In short, I've been bad.

And while this is nothing new, I'm ready to start over. Just like earlier this year, I'm not going to focus on my past failed attempts. This is the new beginning for me. And I'm going to treat it as such. It's not easy to change 20-some years of unhealthy behaviors. And since I'm incredibly stubborn, it's going to take me a long time to get it through my thick head that healthy is the best way. (Even if unhealthy tastes better at the moment.)

Onto my weight for this week and my goals. (In all honesty, I was happy with my weight because I was hoping for only 5 pounds. Remember, I've been bad.)

Weight
Starting Weight (as of February 21, 2010): 151.2 lbs
Current Weight (as of August 5, 2010): 147.8 lbs
Total Weight Lost: 3.4 lbs

Goals
1. Drink 48oz of water, daily.
2. Exercise at least 4 times a week.
3. Eat every 2 hours. (I find myself getting hungry but sometimes make myself wait 4-5 hours before I eat again and I end up eating too much and never feeling totally full. I'm hoping this helps.)

Perspective

If this ankle injury has given me anything, it's given me a lot of perspective.

I'm not a lover of exercise. As much as I talk about how good it is for you, how it aids in your heart health and overall well-being, I drag myself kicking and screaming to the gym or on a run. While I feel pretty awesome after I exercise, I'm not entirely sure it's to do to the exercise or just being done.

On Wednesday morning, I was not happy about running. I had 2 miles scheduled and was nervous as heck that I wouldn't be able to complete it. My previous one was pretty awful and honestly, I was in vacation mode. I just wanted to be in Orlando.

But when I fell and realized my ankle was badly injured, my first thought was, "Oh, my God. What does this mean for my half training?" (OK, OK. I'll be honest. My first thought was really: "Crap! What am I going to do about Disney World?!") Later on, thoughts began to flood my mind of how long I should stay off it and how this will cut into my half-marathon training.

The thought of not being able to exercise, compared to not wanting to exercise, made me stop and think. How often do we take our ability to move, to run, to bike, to swim freely? I know I'm guilty of moaning and groaning about having no motivation to work out. I have taken my ability for granted.

There are so many people who don't have the ability to exercise. My grandma sometimes finds it hard to walk from her bedroom to her chair in the living room because she is so sick and weak from chemo. On her good days, she can wash the dishes before she becomes too weak and has to take a nap. I remember how long it took my mom to recover from her surgery two years ago. While she bounced back rather quickly, it was still a very long time before she felt comfortable going for a run.

Yet I have the ability. I have the energy and the stamina to endure a pretty physical workout. But I complain. Whine. Moan. Groan. Make excuses.

I'm still hopeful I'll be able to run on Saturday. My ankle still hurts on occasion, but it's nowhere near as painful as it was a week ago. And if I can get out there and just run, I will be happy. I'll be happy because my body is working properly. It's doing what it was designed to do. And I will be grateful for each pound of the pavement.

August

LOOKING BACK…

Orlando. Orlando was fun. It wasn’t everything I expected, but it was still fun to get away and be a tourist for a few days! I love everything about Orlando, although I don’t know if I could live there. It’s such a touristy town and has some crazy drivers! But who knows where I’ll end up after college?

Health. Health-wise, this was a bad month for me. I don’t know if I felt like I was on vacation for the whole month due to my vacation, but I just had no motivation to track, exercise, or eat right. I gave in to a lot of cravings and barely exercised at all this month. August is a new month!

Half-marathon. I just want to say how much I am surprising myself with this half training. I’ve managed to hit most my targets and feel amazing while doing it. While I usually beat myself up during the first half-mile, wondering how I’ll ever be able to run 13, I usually catch a second wind once I hit the 1-mile, which makes me feel as if I could run forever. It’s such an amazing feeling. (I’m still not sure how my injury will affect my half-marathon, but if I don’t make the one in November, I’ll find one later. But I am doing one!)

IN AUGUST, I WILL…

Start a new semester of school. I won’t say I’m excited to begin a new semester of school, but I am excited that I don’t feel as pressured to get everything done in one semester. Plus, I’m taking some fun classes like Social Media and Sports Journalism which I’m excited about!

Continue training for my half-marathon. Hopefully. I am taking a week off of my training, just to rest my ankle and prevent it from being injured even more. What this injury has given me is a new appreciation for being able to run and be fit. Being scared to run for fear of running on a broken ankle is a scary feeling.

Vlog every day. I joined a bunch of other crazy bloggers/vloggers in the VEDA challenge. Basically, I’m (attempting) to vlog every day during the month of August. I am not very experienced with the vlogging or video editing or even making an interesting vlog. But I do like a challenge and vlogs make me happy.

Begin the switch to my own domain name. My blogiversary is coming up on August 22nd and I really want to move over to my own domain name and switch to Wordpress for this. I began the process last month, but then got a little overwhelmed by Wordpress’ instructions. If there are any bloggers who are familiar with this process and can help a poor girl out, you will be my best friend forever. Seriously.

Get a new phone! I was trying to wait until my beloved Sprint EVO was available online, but my phone is not cooperating for that. My phone was absolutely horrid over my vacation, freezing up when I needed it – you know, when I was using the GPS and had no idea where I was going. So I ordered a new phone over the weekend. It’s the HTC HERO, which still gives me an Android phone, and is a touch screen. So I’m happy. Anything is better than what I have now. (Plus! It has a camera! You guys, I’m entering the 21st century!)

Ten on Tuesday (Vol. 18)

1. What is your current favorite television show?

Big Brother. It's total trash TV, but there's just something spectacular about this show. If you've never seen the show, the basic premise is that a bunch of strangers move into a house where they're secluded from the outside world - no TV's, no cell phones, no radio, no books. Every week, there's a competition for a new Head of Household, who then has to put up 2 people for eviction. There's a lot of gameplay involved, as well as some spectacular cat fights and yelling matches. There are people you absolutely hate, and people you just fall completely in love with. This season, my favorites are Ragan, Lane, and Britney.

The show is amazing. If you've never seen the show, you're definitely missing out!

2. Apple juice or orange juice?

Orange juice, no question. Apple juice is just plain nasty! Plus, OJ is good for your immune system!

3. It’s Shark Week on Discovery Channel. Do you watch? Why or why not?

No, I don't. I never understood the big deal, or why I want to watch a week full of shows centered around sharks. Sharks don't interest me that much.

4. What are the non-blog websites that you visit regularly?

Twitter. Facebook. Swagbucks. Good Reads. Gmail. My school's website. My bank.

5. What is your favorite way to prepare green beans? Asparagus? Potatoes? Carrots?

I don't cook asparagus or carrots so we can just throw those off.

I'll admit that I don't like fresh green beans. Canned green beans just taste so much better to me, and I like them with some squirts of butter & pepper, cooked in a pan on the stove.

I love potatoes. Mashed potatoes and new potatoes are my favorites. I make mashed potatoes just any old way, nothing special about it. With the new potatoes, I cut up the potato in large squares and put as much as I want in a bowl. Then, I pour in some olive oil and sprinkle some basil which I stir together until my hand gets tired. After that, I just arrange it all on a baking sheet, put it in the oven at 375, and wait until they're golden brown. So flippin' delicious. My favorite.

6. What is your favorite flower?

Tulips.

7. How do you feel about handkerchiefs?

Uh...two thumbs up? I don't really have an opinion. They have their uses.

8. If you could only shop at 3 stores for the rest of your life, what would they be? (You probably should include a grocery store.)

Target for all my clothing and household and personal care needs. Publix for my grocery needs (and because I can't go a week without getting one of their subs). And Ikea for my decorating needs. Perfect!

9. If you could only use wine for one purpose for the rest of your life, which would you choose? To cook with or to drink?

Hm...well, I don't cook with wine and I don't drink wine so this is hard for me. I guess I would choose to drink it, because I'm hoping my palate will become sophisticated enough to actually enjoy a glass of wine. So far, it's not happening.

10. What’s your bedtime?

Ideally, 9:30pm, but I usually never make it to bed before 11. I do need to get on a more normal sleeping schedule when I go back to school in 4 weeks. Right now, my afternoon naps take care of my sleep needs, but it'll be back to the grind soon!

Head on over to Roots & Rings to read more answers!

Orlando

If I had to give a label to this vacation, I would say interesting. It was riddled with injuries and sickness. We didn’t get to do everything we set out to do, and I spent most of it worrying I had a broken ankle.

Here’s what you’re probably not thinking: Wait a minute! Back the truck up! A broken ankle? What are you even talking about?

Basically, I fell off a sidewalk while running. No, it’s true. I went out for my 2-mile run with my mom and about half a mile in, we came across a runner running the opposite way. Well, she didn’t look like she was moving over for anybody so I moved a little off the sidewalk (which is uneven and badly made to begin with) and the middle of my foot hit the edge of the sidewalk, causing my ankle to bend inward and scrapping my knee up badly. I walked the rest of the way home, but when I got home my ankle was badly swollen. Basically, there’s not much I can do unless I know for sure this is a broken ankle because I don’t have insurance. I don’t have money to pay a hospital, especially if there just going to tell me to rest and ice it. That’s what I’ve been doing, and it seems to be helping a lot. My ankle, after puffing up to twice the size, is now back to normal. At it’s worst, the pain was about a 3 on a scale of 1-10. But it’s still a little tender and sore so I’m taking the next week off my training to let it heal. (Fingers crossed I can get back to running on Saturday!)

What this meant for my vacation was that we had to nix our Disney World plans. We already had paid for Aquatica and Sea World, so we were determined to get to those theme parks.

We went to Aquatica on Thursday, which was a lot of fun. (Even if I did forget to apply sunscreen, which meant I was Sunburn City after spending a day in the sun.) I don’t think it’s all that much different than Adventure Island, with a lot of the same types of rides they have there. But it’s still fun and definitely the perfect place to take kids! Because of my ankle, we spent a lot of time on the lazy river, just floating along and enjoying the sun. I kept a brace on it until lunchtime, where I took it off and see it had swollen up and was bruising, which worried me a lot.

On Friday, we decided to lay low so I could stay off my ankle as much as possible. We slept in and then went to play putt-putt golfing, which is one of my favorite things ever. (Except it’s only fun when you play on vacation. Am I right?) I just about killed my mom at the game and spent most of the time telling her to “just tap it in.” (Move reference, anyone?) We came back to the hotel and spent a few hours laying by the pool. We cooled off with a strawberry daiquiri and pina colada. (I got carded. Big surprise. I know I look 14.) We went out to dinner that night, but it was a very low-key day.

Saturday was spent at Sea World and I stand by my declaration that it is the Best Theme Park Ever. I love that place. The shows are spectacular, being so close to the animals is amazing, and basically, you haven’t lived if you’ve never fed an adorable sea lion stinky fish. For serious. Highlight of my life. I really want a pet sea lion.

While the vacation wasn’t everything we hoped for, it was still nice to get away for a long weekend. I love everything about hotels and the atmosphere surrounding them. I love Orlando and the magic surrounding the entire town. And I love being with my mom. She’s my best friend and I have such a great time with her. She’s one of my favorite people.

In other news, I decided to join up with a couple other crazy kids to do VEDA, which stands for Vlog Every Day in August. I’ll try to upload videos on this blog but the majority of them will be on my Youtube page. I don’t even know why I did this, because I’m not any type of video genius. But I think it’ll be fun and something different to do! Here’s my first vlog, on nicknames (and I’m not wearing any make-up!):