Lately, I haven't been happy lately with my blog. I haven't been happy with the posts I've been creating. Sometimes, I wish I was more comfortable with posting when I can, not having to stick to a specific schedule. Then I do that, and wish I was on a schedule again. It's a bit of the "grass is always greener" debate.
So which is better? Blogging five days a week, with the majority of these blogs being non-posts? Or blogging when I feel the need to write?
I'm just not sure. Even now, while writing this post, I'm being attacked by thoughts to not post this.
Maybe I take blogging too seriously. Maybe I'm overthinking this. I just don't know.
So I'm giving myself a break from blogging. Most likely, you won't hear anything from me for the next 2 weeks. I need time to reevaluate where I want this blog to go. I need time to focus on my family and school. I need time to breathe. (I will still bombard your Twitter feed - don't worry about that.)
I do know that I love blogging. I have not lost my fire or passion for this blog. I'll be back, hopefully with some better posts and a more sure idea of who I am as a blogger.
Comments closed.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Friday, October 15, 2010
Book Review: Your Money, God's Way by Amie Streater
This book was exactly what I needed. At the beginning, Streater tells you her story: how she was living above her means and using credit cards to help whenever needed. How a sermon on a CD opened her eyes to the way she was living. She, along with her husband, began taking steps to become debt-free and are now there. But it was a long process, and through it she became an associate pastor of financial stewardship for a large church.
The book emphasizes 7 "counterfeit convictions", alongside "timeless truths". The counterfeit convictions are the things we tell ourselves about why we're in debt (i.e., "It is my Christian duty to be at the beck and call of everyone who wants me to help them out of a jam."). The timeless truths showcase how we should be living (i.e., "You have to take care of yourself first if you're going to be in a position to help anyone else."). The book was packed with stories of how other people got into debt and how their reasoning was wrong. At the end of the book was a great little budgeting lesson. Streater broke the budgets into three groups: Level 1 (people with debt who can't afford to tithe 10%, save 10%, and use the 80% for living expenses - which is the formula Streater says is best.), Level 2 (people not in too much debt and can live out the 10-10-80 plan), and Level 3 (the most fun level - no debt at all!) Streater also mentions writing out a Level 3 plan, even if you're at Level 1, to give you something to look forward to. She emphasizes that you have to constantly go back to your budget and rework it to account for pay raises, bonuses, and other expenses.
After reading this book, I am now even more focused on getting out of debt, saving money, and beginning to tithe 10% again. I need to know exactly where each dollar of my paycheck is going and stop lolly-gagging around with my money.
I also want to reference two quotes from this book that really stood out to me:
"In Luke 16:10, Jesus said, "He who is faithful in what is least is faithful also in much; and he who is unjust in least is unjust also in much." In other words, if you can't budget, plan, save, and give on $35,000 a year, you won't be able to do it on $350,000 a year either." (p. 118)"
"...[W]e didn't talk much during dinner, which was Mexican food capped by chocolate sundaes for the kids. The kids were just picking up their spoons to dive in to the gooey goodness when Addision, five, demanded, "Hey, shouldn't this sundae have a cherry on top? Where is the cherry?"...I wonder how often God watches me and has the same reaction I had to Addison. I wonder if He ever thinks, Hey woman! Look around you. So, things aren't perfect. How about expressing a little gratitude for the sundae? Not everyone has a sundae, you know."
If you want a faith-based answer to why you are in debt and how you can be free from it, I would recommend picking up this book. I'm so glad I picked this book because now I'm even more excited to work on my budget.
Have you ever read a book about money? Did you get anything out of it?
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am diclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising".
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Spaghetti Night
Last night, I was given a treat. My grandma made dinner for me. Now yes, it may have been more "proper" for me to cook dinner for her with all that she's been through, but my grandma has the biggest servant's heart. She makes a mean plate of spaghetti and she knows how much I love her spaghetti.
It's been a few months since she finished her last chemotherapy treatment and while she's now taking chemo pills, she's feeling much better and a whole lot stronger. Walking into my grandparent's house and seeing my grandma bustling around the kitchen was such a welcome sight. It felt like I was 16 again and the word cancer had never been uttered in connection to my grandma.
The spaghetti was delicious, the bread tasty, and the conversation charming. It was just the four of us sitting around the dinner table: me, my mom, my grandma, and my grandfather. We talked about the rescue of the Chilean miners, my cousins and their crazy high school, and our lives.
After dinner, my grandfather headed off to church and the three of us ventured into the living room to chat. My mom and my grandma are two of my very best friends and one of my favorite things in life is to sit in my grandma's living room and talk. They are full of such wisdom and life and inspiration. I can talk with them about anything and it helps that they think I'm pretty awesome.
It was the perfect evening and I just pray we have more and more of these evenings.
It's been a few months since she finished her last chemotherapy treatment and while she's now taking chemo pills, she's feeling much better and a whole lot stronger. Walking into my grandparent's house and seeing my grandma bustling around the kitchen was such a welcome sight. It felt like I was 16 again and the word cancer had never been uttered in connection to my grandma.
After dinner, my grandfather headed off to church and the three of us ventured into the living room to chat. My mom and my grandma are two of my very best friends and one of my favorite things in life is to sit in my grandma's living room and talk. They are full of such wisdom and life and inspiration. I can talk with them about anything and it helps that they think I'm pretty awesome.
It was the perfect evening and I just pray we have more and more of these evenings.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Two Months Later
Two months ago, something unspeakable happened. My mom, two-and-a-half months into marathon training, was hit by a car at 6 a.. during a morning run. She was running on the sidewalk, crossing a parking lot. The people who hit her got out to see if she was OK. She said she was and walked the half-mile home. (I'm not going to even attempt to mention how angry I am with the people who hit her, knowing she was bleeding and had a head wound, letting her walk away from this. They didn't attempt to make her stay or give her any of their information.OK. I mentioned it. These people are jerks.)
I don't even think I realized the impact of how badly my mom had been hurt. I mean, sure, there was blood everywhere and I was scared out of my mind. All I kept thinking was that she was coherent and walking. Her injuries weren't that severe. She wasn't dead.
I remember the night she was hit. We had been at the hospital for 5 hours and after a scary dizzy spell on our way into the apartment, Mom was home and feeling OK. I went out to get us dinner (comfort food = Chick-Fil-A). I put on a worship CD, put it on full blast, and sang my heart out on my way to and from the restaurant. When I got home, I sat in the car and just cried. Cried with sadness of what my mom has been through, cried with gratefulness that she was alive, cried with thankfulness of how awful this night could be, my first night living without my mother.
My mom couldn't do much when she came home, or even that first month for that matter. She was dealing with a laceration around her eyebrow, needing 17 stitches. Major, deep cuts and scraps on both palms, elbows, and knees which required constant application of antibiotic ointment and non-adhesive bandages. A sprained thumb with a lifeless fingernail (the fingernail is toast, but she's still waiting on it to grow back.) And a fractured elbow. The elbow is what caused us the most trouble. She had to wear it in a sling for 6 weeks, and see an orthopedic for follow-up x-rays. Luckily, it healed just fine but was just more of a pain than anything. (She still can't stretch out her arm fully, and causes her pain to twist the arm around at the wrist. She may never have full mobility of it.)
The first week was the most difficult. My mom needed my help with a lot of things, from washing her hair to opening a soda bottle, and was also dealing with a lot mentally. She was feeling stupid for leaving the scene of the accident, something which I fault the driver for. (Hello! How do you leave a woman with blood running down her face and let her walk home? I would think she wasn't right in the head!) She was feeling major sadness for not being able to run and thinking her marathon in January was going to be a no-go. She was feeling fear, having just been through a traumatic experience. She went back to work the Tuesday after her accident, even though she probably should have taken a few more days off. She's a woman who thrives on being busy and sitting home, alone with her thoughts, was not good.
I had to do a lot in the past two months. All the driving, all the cleaning, all the cooking, all the laundry...all the things my mom was doing. I had no idea she did so much for me, while I'm satisfied to sit around. Sure, I can blame working and schoolwork and my internship on reasons why I sit around, but that's not enough. I need to take a more active role in the housework.
In just the past two weeks, my mom has really gotten a lot of her life back. She was able to take the sling off and do more with her left arm. It still hurts to use it too much, but is a lot more mobile than before. She's driving again, which makes me very happy. (She still doesn't understand that we don't have a brake on the passenger's side of the car. And gasping every time a car drives by me is a little distracting.) She's back to doing work around the house, which makes me more certain that I can't let her do everything again. Just this weekend, I told her that I was "glad to have my cleaning-at-midnight-mom back."
The biggest change is that she's running again. She had to take 6 weeks off running, which throws off her training completely. (Sunday, she was scheduled to run 16 miles.) Two weeks ago, she was given the green light to resume running. While she had been walking for a few weeks prior, even walking in two 5K's, it was running that she wanted to do. Running that fuels her passion. Two weeks ago, we headed to a park to do some running. I made it half a mile before stopping. My mom made it 3. Three miles. I couldn't even believe it! She was feeling really down about not being able to run and having a few people tell her how crazy she was for trying to run a marathon, and this run really helped her find her mojo. She wants to add 1 mile a week, which means she'll be up to 13 miles by January. It's not the 20 that she needs to be at, but I told her that it's not the only marathon she'll ever run. And the fact that she's still getting out there and running and training for this marathon speaks volumes to me. She's amazing. She's a fighter. She's my mom.
I don't even think I realized the impact of how badly my mom had been hurt. I mean, sure, there was blood everywhere and I was scared out of my mind. All I kept thinking was that she was coherent and walking. Her injuries weren't that severe. She wasn't dead.
I remember the night she was hit. We had been at the hospital for 5 hours and after a scary dizzy spell on our way into the apartment, Mom was home and feeling OK. I went out to get us dinner (comfort food = Chick-Fil-A). I put on a worship CD, put it on full blast, and sang my heart out on my way to and from the restaurant. When I got home, I sat in the car and just cried. Cried with sadness of what my mom has been through, cried with gratefulness that she was alive, cried with thankfulness of how awful this night could be, my first night living without my mother.
My mom couldn't do much when she came home, or even that first month for that matter. She was dealing with a laceration around her eyebrow, needing 17 stitches. Major, deep cuts and scraps on both palms, elbows, and knees which required constant application of antibiotic ointment and non-adhesive bandages. A sprained thumb with a lifeless fingernail (the fingernail is toast, but she's still waiting on it to grow back.) And a fractured elbow. The elbow is what caused us the most trouble. She had to wear it in a sling for 6 weeks, and see an orthopedic for follow-up x-rays. Luckily, it healed just fine but was just more of a pain than anything. (She still can't stretch out her arm fully, and causes her pain to twist the arm around at the wrist. She may never have full mobility of it.)
The first week was the most difficult. My mom needed my help with a lot of things, from washing her hair to opening a soda bottle, and was also dealing with a lot mentally. She was feeling stupid for leaving the scene of the accident, something which I fault the driver for. (Hello! How do you leave a woman with blood running down her face and let her walk home? I would think she wasn't right in the head!) She was feeling major sadness for not being able to run and thinking her marathon in January was going to be a no-go. She was feeling fear, having just been through a traumatic experience. She went back to work the Tuesday after her accident, even though she probably should have taken a few more days off. She's a woman who thrives on being busy and sitting home, alone with her thoughts, was not good.
I had to do a lot in the past two months. All the driving, all the cleaning, all the cooking, all the laundry...all the things my mom was doing. I had no idea she did so much for me, while I'm satisfied to sit around. Sure, I can blame working and schoolwork and my internship on reasons why I sit around, but that's not enough. I need to take a more active role in the housework.
In just the past two weeks, my mom has really gotten a lot of her life back. She was able to take the sling off and do more with her left arm. It still hurts to use it too much, but is a lot more mobile than before. She's driving again, which makes me very happy. (She still doesn't understand that we don't have a brake on the passenger's side of the car. And gasping every time a car drives by me is a little distracting.) She's back to doing work around the house, which makes me more certain that I can't let her do everything again. Just this weekend, I told her that I was "glad to have my cleaning-at-midnight-mom back."
The biggest change is that she's running again. She had to take 6 weeks off running, which throws off her training completely. (Sunday, she was scheduled to run 16 miles.) Two weeks ago, she was given the green light to resume running. While she had been walking for a few weeks prior, even walking in two 5K's, it was running that she wanted to do. Running that fuels her passion. Two weeks ago, we headed to a park to do some running. I made it half a mile before stopping. My mom made it 3. Three miles. I couldn't even believe it! She was feeling really down about not being able to run and having a few people tell her how crazy she was for trying to run a marathon, and this run really helped her find her mojo. She wants to add 1 mile a week, which means she'll be up to 13 miles by January. It's not the 20 that she needs to be at, but I told her that it's not the only marathon she'll ever run. And the fact that she's still getting out there and running and training for this marathon speaks volumes to me. She's amazing. She's a fighter. She's my mom.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Ten on Tuesday (Vol. 22)
1. What does your work out schedule look like?
Currently, it's just been running. I try to sneak in 3 days of running a week and recently, I started back on the Couch to 5K program, which means I'm trying even harder to get 3 days of running a week in. Because of my school schedule, having to find time to schedule interviews, my internship, homework, and having a semblance of a life, it's really hard to find time to exercise the 5 days a week I would like.
2. What is your favorite machine to use at the gym?
I don't belong to a gym right now. As far as cardio goes, my favorite piece of equipment is the elliptical because it doesn't kill my arches as much as the treadmill does. And for strength-training? There's one piece of equipment I liked, but I can't remember the name for it. It works your thighs and calves and you basically push a big piece of metal up with your feet? Does anybody know what I'm talking about?
3. What is your favorite class to take at the gym?
If there was any reason for me to join a gym, it would be to take Spinning classes. I absolutely love Spinning classes and it's really the one thing I would have to have a gym membership for. I love how tough it is and what a great workout it gives you. I would join a gym simply for this purpose.
4. Where do you shop for work out gear and clothing?
Mainly, Target or Sports Authority. I tend to buy cheaper clothing because I just can't fathom spending $50 on a pair of pants I'm just going to sweat in. Although, lately, I see what a difference the good stuff makes to helping with sweat and chafing issues. And since I now have a Fit2Run membership (which means 10% off all purchases), I'll probably head on over there for most of my needs now!
5. If you can't go to the gym, do you have a favorite outdoor activity?
Running and walking are probably my most favorite outdoor activities. Running is cheap (well, until you factor in special shoes and gear. But let's think simple for a minute.) and such a great, full-body exercise.
6. What about a favorite work out DVD? If so, please share!
Anything by Jillian Michaels. She is such an amazing trainer and much nicer in her videos. (Although, I think I would do better if she was screaming at me.) The 30-Day Shred is great as is No More Trouble Zones and Yoga Meltdown. They all totally work you to the brink and I think everyone can keep using them and get a good work out. I have sweat pouring off my body in every one of her workouts.
7. Are you more active now or when you were in high school?
Psht, now. High school? I barely did anything that didn't involve laughing with friends, homework, and sleeping.
8. How has your diet/working out philosophy changed since high school?
I don't think it's necessarily changed, but I am doing more about my health now. I always wanted to be more healthy, work out more, and feel confident with my body. But I never had the courage to change it. And once I lost 20 pounds during my freshman year, I realized I could and that's what keep me going, even though those 20 pounds have come back (with a few friends). But I know I can do it. I know I can change my life. I just have to implement it!
9. What do you do while working out (i.e., daydream, read, listen to music, gab with a friend)?
When I'm running, it's usually listening to music and imaging what I'm going to write for my DailyMile recap. And also performing music videos to the songs playing on my iPod. When I'm at my apartment gym on a piece of equipment, I usually bring a magazine or book to read while working out.
10. What working out resolution would you like to make with yourself this year?
Well, I have two. I want to run one race a month. I'm sticking with 5K's for now but eventually want to move up to 10K's and half-marathons. And I want to be able to run an entire 5K in under 30 minutes.
What about you guys? What's your working out resolution right now?
Ten on Tuesday is run by Roots & Rings. Check out her blog for more answers. (And for cute pictures of her adorable baby boy.)
Monday, October 11, 2010
The End of an Era
Saturday was a monumental day for my mom.
For the past 9 years, she has been sleeping on a bed more fit for a house guest who visits twice a year than a woman working two jobs, going to school, raising teenagers, and training for a marathon. When she split from my dad, she took my brother and me and moved back with her parents. She didn't bring her bed, although that wasn't much to talk about anyway. For the next four years, she either slept on the floor or a couch. While my brother and I had our own rooms with our comfy beds, her bedroom was our living room.
In 2001, my mom purchased a daybed. It seemed like the best option, being affordable, and being able to sit in the living room and not look too out of place. Since then, it has been her bed. It's moved from apartment to apartment, finally getting it's place in a real bedroom in September 2005. It's been a place my mom and I watch TV and have late night or early morning conversations.
And for the past few years, my mom has quietly dreamed of having a real bed. Her dream? A sleigh bed. My brother and I have looked into buying one for her for Christmas. My brother works at a furniture store, so he could get a great deal on a bed. But it was the mattress and box spring that held us back. We could buy the frame, but not the whole bed set.
Last weekend, my mom and I went furniture shopping. First, we went into a mattress store advertising amazing sale prices (70% off!!). And it was a total wash, after my mom was test for a specific mattress. And they showed her a great mattress. The only problem was the price - over $2,300! That was a bit out of our price range so we went to a furniture store.
And there, we found my mom's dream bed - a sleigh bed. A beautiful, cherry oak sleigh bed priced at only $200. Two hundred dollars! For a sleigh bed! Folks, that is a really good deal, especially at the furniture store we were in. We then tested out their mattresses, which has to be the most fun thing to do regarding shopping ever. Ever. We found very reasonably priced mattresses, the highest price one being $1,200.
Of course, my mom being who she is, had to think it over. (Sleep on it?) We came back the next day, assured of our purchase. My mom bought the sleigh bed and a queen-sized mattress and box spring (and the price was reduced by $100 since that mattress was being discontinued and they would have to give us their floor model). And to make this deal even more sweet, this furniture store was offering a free frame for purchasing a mattress. My mom still wanted her sleigh bed, so I was given the frame! (Yay, me!) Unfortunately, now I need a queen-size mattress since my full one doesn't exactly fit. (And looks kinda weird.) The price? Under $1,200. (If you were paying attention, that means it's half the price we would have paid for just the mattress at the mattress store!)
And now, here you go. My mom's brand-new queen-sized sleigh bed. Her first bed in 15+ years. Something she undoubtedly deserves.
Tell me: what kind of bed do you sleep on? Do you love it, or are you saving up for something you really want?
For the past 9 years, she has been sleeping on a bed more fit for a house guest who visits twice a year than a woman working two jobs, going to school, raising teenagers, and training for a marathon. When she split from my dad, she took my brother and me and moved back with her parents. She didn't bring her bed, although that wasn't much to talk about anyway. For the next four years, she either slept on the floor or a couch. While my brother and I had our own rooms with our comfy beds, her bedroom was our living room.
In 2001, my mom purchased a daybed. It seemed like the best option, being affordable, and being able to sit in the living room and not look too out of place. Since then, it has been her bed. It's moved from apartment to apartment, finally getting it's place in a real bedroom in September 2005. It's been a place my mom and I watch TV and have late night or early morning conversations.
Last weekend, my mom and I went furniture shopping. First, we went into a mattress store advertising amazing sale prices (70% off!!). And it was a total wash, after my mom was test for a specific mattress. And they showed her a great mattress. The only problem was the price - over $2,300! That was a bit out of our price range so we went to a furniture store.
And there, we found my mom's dream bed - a sleigh bed. A beautiful, cherry oak sleigh bed priced at only $200. Two hundred dollars! For a sleigh bed! Folks, that is a really good deal, especially at the furniture store we were in. We then tested out their mattresses, which has to be the most fun thing to do regarding shopping ever. Ever. We found very reasonably priced mattresses, the highest price one being $1,200.
Of course, my mom being who she is, had to think it over. (Sleep on it?) We came back the next day, assured of our purchase. My mom bought the sleigh bed and a queen-sized mattress and box spring (and the price was reduced by $100 since that mattress was being discontinued and they would have to give us their floor model). And to make this deal even more sweet, this furniture store was offering a free frame for purchasing a mattress. My mom still wanted her sleigh bed, so I was given the frame! (Yay, me!) Unfortunately, now I need a queen-size mattress since my full one doesn't exactly fit. (And looks kinda weird.) The price? Under $1,200. (If you were paying attention, that means it's half the price we would have paid for just the mattress at the mattress store!)
And now, here you go. My mom's brand-new queen-sized sleigh bed. Her first bed in 15+ years. Something she undoubtedly deserves.
Friday, October 8, 2010
REVIEW: CSN Stores Sauder Orchard Hills Open Computer Desk
A few weeks ago, I was given the opportunity to review a product for CSN Stores. To say I was excited was putting it mildly and it took me forever to find something I wanted. I searched. And searched. And searched. There is so much to choose from! I looked at dressers and book shelves and mixers and pet supplies and purses and shoes and patio furniture and knick-knacks. It was incredibly fun!
But I knew what I really wanted to purchase. You see, I've been living the past year without a desk. When my mom and I moved last September, my old desk basically fell apart after trying to move it from my room to my brother's truck. I bought it at Wal-Mart quite a few years ago and it was never good quality. It also didn't give me a lot of writing space. For the next 6 months or so, I had to do all my schoolwork and blogging either on my bed or on the couch. (Oh yeah, we didn't have a kitchen table either!) In any event, it wasn't very comfortable or conducive to schoolwork. Remember, this was the semester I had to design an 18-page magazine! In the Spring, my brother brought over his kitchen table for us to house for a while and I was super happy - it meant I would have some workspace!
But I still wanted a desk. Something for me. Something to have in my room where I could house my ginormous printer, school supplies, and laptop. Plus, it would give me a stable environment to work in my room! I've had my printer sitting on the floor of my room since I moved and it gets really annoying to print things since it's quite a process!
Lo and behold, I found a desk through CSN Stores. In fact, I found a variety of desks with great prices! I slept on the idea for a few nights but couldn't get the idea out of my head. I needed a desk. So I purchased this one. Simple and clean design. No fussing with shelving and looked pretty easy to put together.
I ordered it on Sunday morning and it arrived at my doorstep Friday afternoon. I commissioned my brother to come and help me put it together - since he basically puts furniture together as his job. I knew it would be relatively easy for him. And it was. It took him a little over an hour, mainly because a few screws weren't cooperating. I just sat around, looking pretty, and helping whenever he asked for it.
He was able to easily put it in my room and I went to work, organizing my printer, desk organizer, and laptop on it. While there's not a ton of room to work with after all that, it's the perfect size for me. I don't really require a lot of room. Everything fits perfectly on it and I just really love the clean design of it. I plan on adding a few shelves above it to house schoolbooks and other knick-knacks, but I am really, really pleased with this purchase. The wood feels smooth and strong and it's the perfect height for me.
I would definitely recommend checking out CSN Stores for your next purchase, especially if it involves furniture! They have such a huge array of choices, in almost every style you can think of. My next big purchase for my room is a dresser and you can be sure I'll be scouring their site in the near future for one!
Disclaimer: CSN Stores gifted me with a certificate to put towards this purchase, although I did have to pay some money out of pocket. They did not ask me for a good review, but rather a fair and honest one.
But I knew what I really wanted to purchase. You see, I've been living the past year without a desk. When my mom and I moved last September, my old desk basically fell apart after trying to move it from my room to my brother's truck. I bought it at Wal-Mart quite a few years ago and it was never good quality. It also didn't give me a lot of writing space. For the next 6 months or so, I had to do all my schoolwork and blogging either on my bed or on the couch. (Oh yeah, we didn't have a kitchen table either!) In any event, it wasn't very comfortable or conducive to schoolwork. Remember, this was the semester I had to design an 18-page magazine! In the Spring, my brother brought over his kitchen table for us to house for a while and I was super happy - it meant I would have some workspace!
But I still wanted a desk. Something for me. Something to have in my room where I could house my ginormous printer, school supplies, and laptop. Plus, it would give me a stable environment to work in my room! I've had my printer sitting on the floor of my room since I moved and it gets really annoying to print things since it's quite a process!
Lo and behold, I found a desk through CSN Stores. In fact, I found a variety of desks with great prices! I slept on the idea for a few nights but couldn't get the idea out of my head. I needed a desk. So I purchased this one. Simple and clean design. No fussing with shelving and looked pretty easy to put together.
I ordered it on Sunday morning and it arrived at my doorstep Friday afternoon. I commissioned my brother to come and help me put it together - since he basically puts furniture together as his job. I knew it would be relatively easy for him. And it was. It took him a little over an hour, mainly because a few screws weren't cooperating. I just sat around, looking pretty, and helping whenever he asked for it.
I would definitely recommend checking out CSN Stores for your next purchase, especially if it involves furniture! They have such a huge array of choices, in almost every style you can think of. My next big purchase for my room is a dresser and you can be sure I'll be scouring their site in the near future for one!
Disclaimer: CSN Stores gifted me with a certificate to put towards this purchase, although I did have to pay some money out of pocket. They did not ask me for a good review, but rather a fair and honest one.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
You're Not Enough For Me
The last time I posted about my faith was August 11. Almost two months ago. And since I'm not one to sugarcoat things, especially in regards to faith and spirituality, let's just say I seem to have "broken up" with God these past few months. While I have prayed my heart out during my mom's ER visit, my ER visit, and my grandma's cancer results, I'm becoming That Girl. The Girl Who Prays When Things Are Bad, But Forget About God When Things Are Good. (And doesn't that label just fall off your tongue?)
Things haven't been great. I've been "too busy" for quiet time, "too busy" to pray, "too busy" to really spend time with my Heavenly Father. I've been to church once in two months. My Bible is collecting dust and I haven't even opened my devotional book since late June.
I've been reading a book that has really opened my eyes to Jesus and what I mean to Him. In the story, the author personifies Jesus, making Him into a living, breathing human who is on a mission to show the heroine how much He cares for her. At first I was turned off by the personification, but I'm growing to love it. I feel as if I'm learning so much about God through this story, much more than I ever have before. In one instance, He tells her to come to a church at a specific time. So she goes, but is so annoyed by the rain and being inconvenienced that she left after giving Jesus a piece of her mind. The next day, she confronts Him about it and he says, "Yes, that didn't go according to My plan." This line threw me for a loop. How many times do I let my own free will tear me away from Jesus' plan for my life? How many times has God put me in the spot I need to be in at that very moment, but I let annoyances or circumstances lead me onto the wrong path?
I'm not following God right now. I'm buying into what the world is offering me. I'm letting it dictate my emotions and my worth. I'm finding solace and strength from social media and entertainment and not from the abiding grace of my Father. In a sense, I'm telling Jesus that He's not enough for me right now. He's not good enough for me. I need more than what He can offer. And how crazy does that sound? God can give me so much more than I need, so much more than I could ever hope for, so much more than I could ever expect. He can fulfill my every need. But I'm not letting Him. I'm hiding myself away, holding on tight to my heart so nobody can get near it to tarnish it. But my heart? It's broken, it's bruised, it's beating to a slow beat. It needs the hands of the Greatest Artist to turn it over in His hands, wipe it off, and make it whole again.
Maybe I'm a slow learner. Maybe I need to make a few mistakes before I recognize the truth that is staring me in the face. God loves me. God cares about me. And God wants to be a part of my life. He wants to be a part of the joy and happiness, as well as the sadness and anger. He wants to clean up this mess I'm making of my life and turn it around. All I have to do is release this intense grip I have on my own life.
Things haven't been great. I've been "too busy" for quiet time, "too busy" to pray, "too busy" to really spend time with my Heavenly Father. I've been to church once in two months. My Bible is collecting dust and I haven't even opened my devotional book since late June.
I've been reading a book that has really opened my eyes to Jesus and what I mean to Him. In the story, the author personifies Jesus, making Him into a living, breathing human who is on a mission to show the heroine how much He cares for her. At first I was turned off by the personification, but I'm growing to love it. I feel as if I'm learning so much about God through this story, much more than I ever have before. In one instance, He tells her to come to a church at a specific time. So she goes, but is so annoyed by the rain and being inconvenienced that she left after giving Jesus a piece of her mind. The next day, she confronts Him about it and he says, "Yes, that didn't go according to My plan." This line threw me for a loop. How many times do I let my own free will tear me away from Jesus' plan for my life? How many times has God put me in the spot I need to be in at that very moment, but I let annoyances or circumstances lead me onto the wrong path?
I'm not following God right now. I'm buying into what the world is offering me. I'm letting it dictate my emotions and my worth. I'm finding solace and strength from social media and entertainment and not from the abiding grace of my Father. In a sense, I'm telling Jesus that He's not enough for me right now. He's not good enough for me. I need more than what He can offer. And how crazy does that sound? God can give me so much more than I need, so much more than I could ever hope for, so much more than I could ever expect. He can fulfill my every need. But I'm not letting Him. I'm hiding myself away, holding on tight to my heart so nobody can get near it to tarnish it. But my heart? It's broken, it's bruised, it's beating to a slow beat. It needs the hands of the Greatest Artist to turn it over in His hands, wipe it off, and make it whole again.
Maybe I'm a slow learner. Maybe I need to make a few mistakes before I recognize the truth that is staring me in the face. God loves me. God cares about me. And God wants to be a part of my life. He wants to be a part of the joy and happiness, as well as the sadness and anger. He wants to clean up this mess I'm making of my life and turn it around. All I have to do is release this intense grip I have on my own life.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Couch to 5K: Week 1
I restarted Couch to 5K last Friday. This will be my fourth attempt since I usually ditch the plan after Week 4 or 5, thinking I can do it on my own. Which is true, I probably could, but I think the C25K plan is one of the best training plans I've seen. And since I'm still struggling to make it past 1 mile, I really want to see this to completion.
On Friday, I made the decision to just run. My plan was to run 3/4ths of a mile, walk to the 1-mile marker, and then run the 2nd mile. That didn't happen. Instead, I made it a little past 1/2 a mile before stopping. My legs were on fire. And I was really disappointed in myself, thinking running was "not for me" and a stupid decision. Then I thought of C25K and how it really eases you into the running game. I'm going to make it work this time.
I think my mind is getting warped by all the marathon posts I've been reading. Folks, one mile is a long way to run. That's 1,760 yards. Twelve whole minutes of running. (Well, more if you're like me.) While I may not be running a marathon, or even a 10K, in the near future, I need to focus more on the process.
The C25K plan has you running 3 days a week, doing the same interval pattern on these days. It ups the intensity each week. For Week 1, I started with a 5-minute warm-up and then began the intervals of jogging for 60 seconds, then walking for 90 seconds, for 20 minutes. The program ends with a 5-minute cool-down. This would usually take me 1 and 3/4 miles, and I would walk an extra 1.25 miles to round my miles out to 3.
Friday, my run went so smooth. I felt great, my pace was awesome, and I really felt like I was making a great decision to restart this program. (I also went for the run at 6pm.) On Saturday, I went to the park around noon and struggled a little bit more this time. It was a lot hotter and I had only eaten breakfast at that point, which I think had something to do with it. Tuesday was my last day on Week 1. I ran at 6pm and it was cool. I felt a cool breeze while I was running! It felt great, although I dealt with weird pain at the top of my right foot which made it harder. While it didn't hurt while I was running, it was awful pain when I started walking.
For the first 2 weeks, I'll be following the C25K app I have on my iTouch and then using the plan I found on Cool Running to run for distance, instead of time. The app only does time. My mom and I have been running at a park about a half hour away, because it's safe and the trail is marked perfectly. It's a 1-mile or 2-mile trail with markers for every quarter-mile. I've yet to find a better trail in my city.
I've been disappointed with my shoes thus far. I am still dealing with arch pain, although it's not as intense as before. And I'm once again dealing with shin splints. Again, they aren't as painful and I'm usually fine once I stop running. And on Tuesday, I began experiencing pain on the top of my right foot up to my ankle. I tightened my shoes, hoping it would help which it somewhat did. My only problem with keeping my shoes tight is that it makes my feet go numb, which I'm guessing isn't a good thing. I'm not sure how much longer I should give them before returning them for another pair. These shoes (with custom insoles) cost me over $200, so I kind of want them to be gold on my feet. The fact that I'm still experiencing a whole lot of pain is starting to annoy me.
How did you get started with running? Have you ever used Couch to 5K?
On Friday, I made the decision to just run. My plan was to run 3/4ths of a mile, walk to the 1-mile marker, and then run the 2nd mile. That didn't happen. Instead, I made it a little past 1/2 a mile before stopping. My legs were on fire. And I was really disappointed in myself, thinking running was "not for me" and a stupid decision. Then I thought of C25K and how it really eases you into the running game. I'm going to make it work this time.
I think my mind is getting warped by all the marathon posts I've been reading. Folks, one mile is a long way to run. That's 1,760 yards. Twelve whole minutes of running. (Well, more if you're like me.) While I may not be running a marathon, or even a 10K, in the near future, I need to focus more on the process.
The C25K plan has you running 3 days a week, doing the same interval pattern on these days. It ups the intensity each week. For Week 1, I started with a 5-minute warm-up and then began the intervals of jogging for 60 seconds, then walking for 90 seconds, for 20 minutes. The program ends with a 5-minute cool-down. This would usually take me 1 and 3/4 miles, and I would walk an extra 1.25 miles to round my miles out to 3.
Friday, my run went so smooth. I felt great, my pace was awesome, and I really felt like I was making a great decision to restart this program. (I also went for the run at 6pm.) On Saturday, I went to the park around noon and struggled a little bit more this time. It was a lot hotter and I had only eaten breakfast at that point, which I think had something to do with it. Tuesday was my last day on Week 1. I ran at 6pm and it was cool. I felt a cool breeze while I was running! It felt great, although I dealt with weird pain at the top of my right foot which made it harder. While it didn't hurt while I was running, it was awful pain when I started walking.
For the first 2 weeks, I'll be following the C25K app I have on my iTouch and then using the plan I found on Cool Running to run for distance, instead of time. The app only does time. My mom and I have been running at a park about a half hour away, because it's safe and the trail is marked perfectly. It's a 1-mile or 2-mile trail with markers for every quarter-mile. I've yet to find a better trail in my city.
I've been disappointed with my shoes thus far. I am still dealing with arch pain, although it's not as intense as before. And I'm once again dealing with shin splints. Again, they aren't as painful and I'm usually fine once I stop running. And on Tuesday, I began experiencing pain on the top of my right foot up to my ankle. I tightened my shoes, hoping it would help which it somewhat did. My only problem with keeping my shoes tight is that it makes my feet go numb, which I'm guessing isn't a good thing. I'm not sure how much longer I should give them before returning them for another pair. These shoes (with custom insoles) cost me over $200, so I kind of want them to be gold on my feet. The fact that I'm still experiencing a whole lot of pain is starting to annoy me.
How did you get started with running? Have you ever used Couch to 5K?
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Ten on Tuesday (Vol. 21)
1. What keeps you up at night (figuratively)?
Nothing really keeps me up at night, but it's more about things that make me wake up earlier than I want to, worrying. I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to sleep in on the weekends but I wake up around 7, worrying about a paper I have to write or a magazine I need to design or something that needs to get done that day. I really hate when that happens!
2. What keeps you up at night (literally)?
Oh, nothing. I'm asleep within 5 minutes of my head hitting the pillow. Although I could say that watching TV or reading a book sometimes keeps me up past my bedtime, which is supposed to be 9:30. But as for having trouble falling asleep? I have no problems in that area which is something I'm extremely grateful for after struggling with insomnia for a year in 6th grade. Insomnia is the worst!
3. Where do you want to go in life (figuratively)?
Obviously, like everyone, I want to be successful and happy. My ideas of both have slowly been transforming to the point that I don't necessarily think I need to settle down and start a family in the near future. I want to reach outside the box, move away, and explore this great big world first. Be it in social media, writing, marketing, or whatever. I just want to feel fulfilled.
4. Where do you want to go in life (literally)?
I'm not exactly sure. I know I'm going to have to move away, perhaps to another state. I know I'm going to have to leave everything I know and love to grow as a person. It scares me to death. I don't like to think about it. But it will happen. I'm not a big fan of city life so I'd like something much more slower-paced. But not too slow!
5. Have you ever bitten off more than you could chew (figuratively)?
Of course. I think it's just a human trait to take on more than we can handle. I do it all the time but I do feel like I'm getting better at managing my priorities. Also, I'm a big fan of the word "no." I can say it easily.
6. Have you ever bitten off more than you could chew (literally)?
Yes. Not such a fun feeling.
7. Is the grass really greener on the other side of the fence (figuratively)?
We think it is. It's like the old saying goes, we always want what we can't have. In some cases, it might well be. But I think, in most instances, it isn't and I'm sitting in the exact place I need to be.
8. Is the grass really greener on the other side of the fence (literally)?
No, it's actually not. The apartment homes next door to us are not as well-kept as ours. We actually looked at an apartment there and the landlord told us, "It's pretty safe here. Once you get inside and lock the door, you're fine." ...And what about those 2-3 minutes of getting into the apartment?
9. If you can't stand the heat, do you get out of the kitchen (figuratively)?
Always. I'm not a big fan of confrontation and I usually choose to walk away from arguments. Now, this is totally different when it comes to my mom and my brother. With them, I have no problem arguing with them - loudly. My arguments with my brother can be pretty epic.
10. If you can't stand the heat, do you get out of the kitchen (literally)?
Well, no. First of all, we've had an open kitchen for as long as I can remember so it never gets too hot in our kitchen. And secondly, if it gets too hot, I know my food is almost done! Right? Right. But I barely ever cook anything too complicated so this never happens to me.
Monday, October 4, 2010
A Change
For the past 2 months, I haven't been going to Weight Watcher meetings, counting points, or writing down every morsel of food that goes into my mouth. I haven't been eating as healthy as I know how to, but I haven't been going crazy either. Instead, I've been doing a lot of thinking. I've been thinking about my eating habits, my unhealthy behaviors, and why I am the way I am.
Why am I fat? is the question I've been asking myself over and over again. Why am I sabotaging myself every chance I get? Why do I still not get it? The only answer I can come up with is that I don't feel I have a right to be skinny. I don't have strength to do this. I'm forever destined to be the chubby, quiet girl who feels awkward and out of place because that's the way I was made.
And those are all lies. They are lies that are so ingrained deep in my heart that it's taken me years to get to the root of it. If you've been reading my blog for any amount of time, I'm sure you know who the liar is. If not, it's my father. My father, whose best nickname for me used to be Poochie-Poo, who sent me a letter from prison when I was a senior telling me I needed to lose weight after I sent him my senior picture, and who constantly and consistently made me feel as if I was worthless.
I know they're lies. I know I am a pretty awesome individual. I'm smart, I'm funny, I'm a great friend and a compassionate listener. I have a variety of interest and skills. And I have worth. I am worth it. I can't go on letting his lies infiltrate my mind and captivate my heart. I have so many other people in my life telling me I am worth it. I have my mom, my brother, my grandparents, friends, classmates, strangers, and you guys. There are days when I don't know what I would do without the friendships I have made through blogging.
I'm glad I came to this realization, though. It has made me realize what I'm doing to myself, not just through my body but to my heart. And I know nothing in the world could make me more proud of myself than to make a big change to my lifestyle. I want to stop playing the victim and start playing the victor.
And so, I've come up with a list of my 5 most unhealthy behaviors. My plan is to take control of these five areas of my life and then I can start cracking away at other areas where I eat moderately healthy, but I could still use a little work. (Mainly, my lunch and dinners which are pretty healthy and we usually eat the correct portions of.)
So there you have it. For now, I'm working on the first two because I know if I can cut out the majority of my soda intake and ramp up my exercise, I'll see weight loss and just feel better. And that's my main goal. I want to feel good and know I'm treating my body the best way possible. I'm still eating healthy and still maintaining a healthy lifestyle, but I find that I'm less tempted to cheat and feel like the whole day or week is a loss with this attitude.
What would you say is your most unhealthy habit?
Credit: x, x, x, x, x
Why am I fat? is the question I've been asking myself over and over again. Why am I sabotaging myself every chance I get? Why do I still not get it? The only answer I can come up with is that I don't feel I have a right to be skinny. I don't have strength to do this. I'm forever destined to be the chubby, quiet girl who feels awkward and out of place because that's the way I was made.
And those are all lies. They are lies that are so ingrained deep in my heart that it's taken me years to get to the root of it. If you've been reading my blog for any amount of time, I'm sure you know who the liar is. If not, it's my father. My father, whose best nickname for me used to be Poochie-Poo, who sent me a letter from prison when I was a senior telling me I needed to lose weight after I sent him my senior picture, and who constantly and consistently made me feel as if I was worthless.
I know they're lies. I know I am a pretty awesome individual. I'm smart, I'm funny, I'm a great friend and a compassionate listener. I have a variety of interest and skills. And I have worth. I am worth it. I can't go on letting his lies infiltrate my mind and captivate my heart. I have so many other people in my life telling me I am worth it. I have my mom, my brother, my grandparents, friends, classmates, strangers, and you guys. There are days when I don't know what I would do without the friendships I have made through blogging.
I'm glad I came to this realization, though. It has made me realize what I'm doing to myself, not just through my body but to my heart. And I know nothing in the world could make me more proud of myself than to make a big change to my lifestyle. I want to stop playing the victim and start playing the victor.
And so, I've come up with a list of my 5 most unhealthy behaviors. My plan is to take control of these five areas of my life and then I can start cracking away at other areas where I eat moderately healthy, but I could still use a little work. (Mainly, my lunch and dinners which are pretty healthy and we usually eat the correct portions of.)
1. Soda
Soda is my drink of choice. If I'm having a bad day, it's soda I want, not any kind of alcohol. It tastes delicious and releases chemicals into my brain that signal everything is going to be OK. (Well, maybe not, but that's how it feels.) On an average day, I would drink 2-3 cans. Two weeks ago, I began working to cut it out of my diet. While I will still have soda when I go out to eat and on Sundays, I don't want it to be an everyday habit. I managed to go two days each week without any soda. I don't want to quit cold turkey because the caffeine headaches I get are enough to make me think I can never do this. For this upcoming week, I'm looking to go 3 days without a soda and so on until I stop depending on it so much. This has been my main goal and I feel like I'm doing pretty good at achieving it.
2. Exercise
After over 3 years of trying to lose weight, exercise still hasn't become something I enjoy. While I have found certain types of exercise that I tolerate, it's never been something that I've craved. Craving exercise? Really? There are people out there like this? But I want to. I want it to be more enjoyable and something I don't dread with every fiber of my being. (And no, I'm not being dramatic. OK. Maybe I am.) I want to like exercise, I really do! For this goal, I want to commit to 4 days of exercise a week. It can get really complicated with my schedule (especially since I can't exercise in the morning, unless I want to wake up at 4am.), but I know I can do this. I just have to stop being so lazy.
3. Snacking
Oh, snacking! This is my weakness. I have fallen prey to portion control and 100-calorie snack packs which do nothing to fuel you, but do taste so very good! I want to drastically change what I consider a snack and make it something that really does perk me up and fuel me, and less about something heavy on fat and sugar. I want fruits and veggies, almonds and nuts, peanut butter and smoothies. This is an area that needs a lot of work, and it scares me a little to think about how many calories/points I waste on snacks.
4. Breakfast
My job makes breakfast very hard. First of all, I have to be there early so eating beforehand isn't an option. Secondly, even if I do bring a satisfying, filling breakfast, I'm also the "Breakfast Girl", as my boss likes to call me and I'm the one making and delivering breakfasts to all the kiddos. Sometimes, it's something as simple as cereal and juice. And sometimes it's French toast, or blueberry muffins, or my personal favorite, sausage biscuits. (Do you know what it's like to cook FORTY sausage biscuits and not eat even one? Um, well, neither do I.) It's hard. I bring breakfast, yes, but I also think I could make it a lot healthier. I have a hard time finding super healthy breakfast since I hate oatmeal and can only handle yogurt in small doses. But I'm up for the challenge!
5. Situational Eating
I am really bad at eating, depending on the situation. I'm sad! I'm happy! Something terrible has just happened! Let's celebrate! It's Friday! I have the Monday morning blues! I'm a professional at justifying why I'm eating bad. I want to stop eating just because of a certain emotion or event. I want to be able to be sad and find another way to get a handle on my emotions. I want to be able to celebrate something good happening without blowing my diet out of the water. I need to find other ways to deal with my emotions. I think it's a problem most people have with their eating habits and once that gets under control, controlling your eating becomes much easier.
So there you have it. For now, I'm working on the first two because I know if I can cut out the majority of my soda intake and ramp up my exercise, I'll see weight loss and just feel better. And that's my main goal. I want to feel good and know I'm treating my body the best way possible. I'm still eating healthy and still maintaining a healthy lifestyle, but I find that I'm less tempted to cheat and feel like the whole day or week is a loss with this attitude.
What would you say is your most unhealthy habit?
Credit: x, x, x, x, x
Friday, October 1, 2010
50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind, Part 5
We used to have a little girl at my preschool who was this absolute free spirit. She had a million pieces of clothing with The Little Mermaid and she would wear at least one piece every day. She never matched. She was a friend to everyone and never had a bad word to say to anyone. She marched to the beat of her own drum. And other teachers at my center thought she was a little loopy and weird. I think she was just plain awesome. (I keep talking about her in past tense, but she's fine. She's just in kindergarten now!)
To answer your question, a joyful simpleton. Maybe this girl wasn't the smartest child we had but she has the most amazing spirit about her. Absolute light and joy and happiness. If we could all be more like her, this world would be a better place.
22. Why are you, you?
Nature and nurture. Part of it is my past experiences, part of it is what my parents have taught me, some of it is my own morals and values that I've learned on my own. It makes me unique and unlike anybody else I'll ever encounter. And I'm trying to accept that.
Nature and nurture. Part of it is my past experiences, part of it is what my parents have taught me, some of it is my own morals and values that I've learned on my own. It makes me unique and unlike anybody else I'll ever encounter. And I'm trying to accept that.
23. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
Yes and no. There are times when I think I can be a great friend, someone who is thoughtful and compassionate. And sometimes, not so much. I try my best, though, and I think I'm pretty fun to be around.
Yes and no. There are times when I think I can be a great friend, someone who is thoughtful and compassionate. And sometimes, not so much. I try my best, though, and I think I'm pretty fun to be around.
24. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?
Both have the potential for heartbreak. On the one hand, it's heartbreaking when a good friend moves away because your relationship is forever altered. You don't keep that same level of closeness, as much as you try. But on the other hand, when you lose touch with a good friend but it's just circumstances or misunderstandings, that can be just as heartbreaking. With this, you have the potential to keep your friendship but you just can't.
I would think the latter option is worse, because you're losing a friendship that you shouldn't be losing. With the former, you can still maintain the friendship, but it might not be as close as before.
Both have the potential for heartbreak. On the one hand, it's heartbreaking when a good friend moves away because your relationship is forever altered. You don't keep that same level of closeness, as much as you try. But on the other hand, when you lose touch with a good friend but it's just circumstances or misunderstandings, that can be just as heartbreaking. With this, you have the potential to keep your friendship but you just can't.
I would think the latter option is worse, because you're losing a friendship that you shouldn't be losing. With the former, you can still maintain the friendship, but it might not be as close as before.
25. What are you most grateful for?
My family. I wouldn't be anywhere without them. I wouldn't be myself without them. I need them. They have taught me so much about life, love, and faith. I can't wait to begin building a family of my own, but for now, they are the ones I depend on and need.
My family. I wouldn't be anywhere without them. I wouldn't be myself without them. I need them. They have taught me so much about life, love, and faith. I can't wait to begin building a family of my own, but for now, they are the ones I depend on and need.
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