January Wrap-Up

Today marks the end of the first month of 2011. Can you believe we’re already 31 days into the new year? (Only 10 months until the Christmas season!)

It’s been a busy month for me but in the past few weeks, I’ve just been happier. There’s nothing on the horizon to look forward to, just a lot of work, a lot of classes, and a lot of homework and studying. But I’m happy. I wake up happy (well, sleepy, but also happy) and there’s just a joy surrounding me. I hope I can keep up this good attitude because life is so much more fulfilling when you’re happy!

January had it’s share of ups and downs.

• I welcomed in the new year on my living room couch, watching the ball drop on TV with my dog and my mom. We had a quiet night at home, which was simply perfect.

• My mom completed her first-ever marathon. (I see at least one more in her future!)

• I began my last semester as an undergrad, which was filled with it’s own set of headaches.

• I spent my weekends buried in homework and cleaning, but feeling more relaxed and fulfilled than those weekends spent doing absolutely nothing.

• I had an eye appointment (my first since September 2008!) where I found out my eyes had indeed gotten worse and my astigmatism in my right eye was stronger than before, meaning contacts are probably not the best everyday option. (Even contacts used for astigmatism, they still jump around in my eye.)

• I completed my goals of getting on track with my eating (and subsequently lost almost 6 pounds this month!), as well as establishing a cleaning chart to help me get motivated to help out more around the house. And I disconnected 3 out of the 4 Saturdays in January.

• I did not complete my goals of establishing a budget or paying off my largest credit card (all I have to do is call the collection agency and set up the payment! Procrastinate, much?). I failed miserably on my water intake, although it did get a teensy bit better once I started back at Weight Watchers.

• Turning off electronics at 9pm? It didn’t happen once in January. I usually didn’t remember about this goal I set until 9:30pm or later, if I remembered at all!

• Tomorrow’s post will outline my goals for February, but I am going to “treat” myself to a new sports bra (or two!). The ones I’m wearing now I’ve had for about 3-4 years so I’m pretty sure it’s more of a necessity than anything. No Otterbox, though. Maybe next month!

How was the first month of January for you?

Vlog Fridays

Remember that time I asked you guys to comment one of my posts with questions and that I would begin vlogging on Fridays? No? Maybe because it was on November 19!

Oh, yes. It was a while ago. It’s always been in the back of my mind to get started with these questions, but I got caught up in school, the holidays, and other things that it kept falling to the wayside.

No more! I will be vlogging (almost) every Friday for as long as I have questions to answer. I like the different aspect vlogging gives to blogging, so I basically want every single one of you to go out and record a vlog this weekend. Homework! I want to hear your voices! :)

This is my first vlog of the series, a little explanation and diving right into Jen’s question.

Comment and tell me whether you voted in the November election, and/or to ask me a question!

This Time, it’s Different

I like to consider myself somewhat of a Weight Watcher expert. I’ve been doing the program, on and off, since May of 2007. I’ve tried out the Core Plan, the Flex Plan, the Momentum Plan, and now this new PointsPlus Plan. I love them all, but struggled with most with Flex and Momentum (which were the same program, basically). This new plan works so well for me, getting me to take in more fruits and veggies and make healthier choices. (Not just low-point choices.)

It feels different this time around. I started Weight Watchers when I saw how much success my mom was seeing on the program. And while my mom never pushed me to start attending, I guess I felt like this was her program and I was just tagging along. When she made good choices, I made good choices. When she made bad choices, I made bad choices. I’ve always looked at Weight Watchers as my mom’s thing.

It’s my thing now. It’s about me, my health, my weight loss. I have to stop riding on my mom’s coattails and start taking action over my life. I’m losing this weight for me, not because my mom already did. I am much more in control of my eating and my exercise. I’m not worried about how my mom is doing (although I care!), so much as how I am doing. I’m documenting everything I eat throughout the day and relying on my own self-motivation to keep me focused.

It feels different this time. Like it’s finally going to happen. This is the time I lose the weight for good, adopt healthy habits for good, and become a brand-new version of myself. It feels like it’s my time and I look forward to proving myself just how strong I can be every week. It’s not easy and I won’t say I’m even halfway there yet. But my baby steps are getting bigger and less wobbly.

Stats (Week 2)
Starting Weight: 159.2 lbs
Current Weight: 153.6 lbs
Net Difference: –5.6 lbs (-1.4 this week)
BMI: 28.1 (-1 total; –.2 this week)

Dealing With Anxiety, Pt. I

I’ve been hesitant for a while to talk about it. Since I know many people face it, and some cases are way more severe than I feel mine is, I didn’t feel like I had a right to use the word.

Maybe it’s just worry. Maybe I’m just a high-level worrywart. I mean, it doesn’t affect my life, right? I can still function, albeit I can’t exactly do the things I want to do, like join a book club or get involved at my church. But that’s just because I’m shy, not anything serious.

In November, I had my first panic attack. It happened around 2am one morning, waking me up from broken sleep. My breathing was ragged, my body hot, and my thoughts swirling. Is this what death feels like? Slow down, Steph, just breathe. You’re OK. You’re OK. You’re OK.

I didn’t mention it to anyone. I thought there was something medically wrong with me, asthma or some such, so I kept it a secret. I had no idea what it was but it went away the next day so I pretended things were normal.

In December, I had another one. It happened again in the middle of the night. I couldn’t catch my breath. It felt like I had run a million miles at top speed. My body was hot, my body was cold. My mind again racing. What was wrong with me? Do I need to go to the ER? Why does this crap always happen to me? I really can’t breathe! Jesus, I need your help. Just help me breathe. Jesus, just help me breathe.

I ended up Google-ing my symptoms the next day and realizing it could have been an anxiety attack. I even went and talked to my grandma, who has had severe attacks in the past, and she confirmed it. Since that night, I’ve carried this problem with me. I’m so hesitant to put a name on what I’m facing because it feels so final. And what if I’m wrong? What if all I’m experiencing is high-grade worry?

I’ve been talking to the ever-lovely Kyla Roma about this very issue, and she put it this way: “I think the biggest thing to know is that if it’s an anxiety disorder vs. if it’s not is really subjective, and it really comes down to one question: Does it interfere with your life?’”

Does it interfere with my life? In a word, yes.

Stay tuned for Part II and III – where I talk about how anxiety affects my life and what I’m doing to combat it.

photo credit: v, v, v

Ten on Tuesday, Vol. 27

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1. Do you decorate for Valentine’s Day?
No. Never have, and probably never will. Although, I did see Valentine’s window clings at Target with a weiner dog saying “Be Mine!” I almost bought because hello, how perfect would it be? But then I remembered I am a humbug for Valentine’s Day.

2. Does your desktop have a picture or a computer graphic? Is it organized?
Yes, a picture of my brother and I. I love it. It’s cute. It’s mostly organized, although I have a tendency to just take my pictures from my camera and place them on my desktop. I just organized my pictures (I had probably 20-30 just floating around) but then added about 5 new ones I need to organize.

3. Do you use a paper planner, electronic planner, or no planner at all?
I’m definitely a paper planner girl. I’ve tried to do things electronically, but for some reason I need to be able to touch and feel my planner and see things in my writing. And I just got this fabulous $5 Vera Bradley planner. It was basically love at first sight with this thing.

4. Do you change purses or bags often, or stick with a good thing?
Stick with a good thing. I only change purses at most twice a year. I just find the whole purse experience to be time-consuming (I’m very picky!) so when I find something I like, I keep it around for a while. ;)

5. What’s your favorite YouTube video?
I don’t really have one. I’m not a big YouTube-r. Although, yesterday, I was keeping my nephew occupied with Cookie Monster and Elmo videos on YouTube and we learned “Elmo’s Song” and it feels like we learned it together so it’s pretty special to me. :) (And what’s fun about watching videos with a 2-year-old is halfway into Elmo’s video, he would ask for “Cookie”. Then, halfway into Cookie Monster’s video, he would ask for “Elmo.” It’s like he has the attention span of a two-year-old!)

6. Do you use Turbo Tax or a real person to pay your taxes?
Turbo Tax, although it’s not that. It’s some other free thing that my mom found online, since I only work part-time and have nobody to claim.

7. How many states have you stepped foot (or tire) into? Which ones?
Let’s see: Florida, Georgia, Tennessee, Ohio, Virginia, and West Virginia. That’s it! Only 6. Pathetic. I need to get out more.

8. How many countries have you been in? Which ones?
Just this one. Again, pathetic.

9. How many pillows are in your house? (Sleeping or decorative)
I have 4 in my room, my mom has 3 with her, and we have 2 for the couch. So…nine! (This reminds me that I really need to get some new pillows! Mine are lumpy, lumpy!)

10. How cold is too cold for flip-flops?
I would say in the 40s. But then again, I’m a wimp when it comes to cold weather.

*Hosted by Chelsea

Pick a question and answer it!

It’s All About the ‘Tude!

On Thursday, I officially started training for my half-marathon. And it was terrible. I tried sticking to the 5:2 interval but my body was not happy by the time the third interval came around. Out of the 3 miles, I maybe ran one of them.
Yesterday, I had to run 4 miles. I stuck to running 1 mile, walking 1/2 a mile, and so forth, which worked so much better for me. Ideally, I don’t want to walk so much but it was a good practice run for me and I hope to work on cutting down my time. (I think I probably could have only walked 1/4 a mile, but I decided to keep it easy.)
Thursday’s 3 miles took me 49 minutes. Sunday’s 4 miles took me 59 minutes (just 90 seconds off my goal race pace!). Thursday’s run made me regret signing up for a half-marathon. Sunday’s run made me want to sign up for 6 more. Thursday’s run defeated me. I defeated Sunday’s run.
The difference in the two runs can all be boiled down to one word: attitude. I was nervous for both runs, but honestly, I had it in my mind that I wouldn’t be able to handle Thursday’s run. I was worried about how my run would go, not very confident I could even run for 3 minutes after taking a two-week break. And it showed. My mind wasn’t in the run, so my body wasn’t. Sunday was a totally different story. I was determined to have a good run. I wanted to be able to brag about this run, not get discouraged by yet another crappy run. (90% of which is just my own inability to beat the mental game.) I left my heart and soul out on that path. I didn’t give in, even when my body was screaming at me to stop. I kept thinking, “Hey! I’m still running!” I won’t deny that I came close to tears around Mile 3.5 when I realized that I was indeed still running and was going to complete these 4 miles with a big, huge grin on my face.
My confidence is back. I won’t say I’m not nervous about Tuesday’s 3-mile run, but I know it all depends on my attitude and beating the mental game. Physically, I can do it. Mentally…I can also do it.
And before I forget! The winner of the $55 gift certificate to CSN Stores is Becky! Please e-mail me at stephanywrites [@] gmail [.] com within 48 hours to receive your prize!

Odds and Ends, the January Edition

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I am so happy it’s Friday. Even though I have tons of homework on the horizon, it’s been a crazy week and I just want some time to relax.

• I went into a panic on Saturday because I looked at my tuition and saw that my scholarship hadn’t gone through yet. It pays for a good chunk of my tuition and I depend on it. So, perhaps I freaked out a bit, started worrying that I was going to be dropped from my classes, and have to wait another semester (or two) to graduate. I looked again on Sunday and sure enough, my scholarship went through. Phew! Big, big sigh of relief.
• Panic #2 began a few hours after Panic #1 ended. I looked at my Spanish II class and Spanish II Lab and realized: they didn’t match up. I remember when I registered that the classes and labs weren’t paired up and didn’t let you know which lab to register for which class. It was really pick-and-choose-and-pray-you’re-right. Well, I was wrong. And I remembered about it after the add/drop period, meaning I couldn’t drop the lab I was in and add the correct one. Instead, I have to send in a petition to make an even exchange of the labs. I had to have my professor sign an “Add Class” form and another professor sign a “Drop Class” form, as well as writing a personal statement why I was doing this. Luckily, my advisor talked me through this and seemed positive I could get this changed without any hassles. It’s a 1 credit course and is standing in the way of my graduation, not to mention it means I’m not in the right lab for my class! It’s been a stressful few days dealing with this, but I have high hopes that everything would turn out OK in the end.
• My classes themselves are going great. My Spanish teacher is wonderful and has such a passion for the language. It’s exciting to see! Signing up for a creative writing class was the best decision I made (even though it’s making me question majoring in journalism and not English). I feel a kindred spirit with all of my classmates. I can’t say much about my literature course, although it’s going to require a lot out of me. I’m a little nervous about that class! And lastly, my capstone course is going to be pretty awesome since it’s all about what to do once we graduate, plus it’s filled with all the people I’ve been through the program with!
• I bought my first pair of eyeglasses this past week. I know, I know. I am well on my way to becoming a Grown-Up. Visionworks is having a half-off sale so I got a cute pair of frames, as well as lenses for just $129! I opted out of the no-glare because I’ve never had it on my glasses and haven’t really seen a problem.
• My mom came home to work on Monday night and said, “I think it’s time.” Time for what? TIME FOR HER TO QUIT HER SECOND JOB! I’m so stoked about this. She has worked there for 4 1/2 years, working 6-day work weeks and really having no days to herself. Mondays, she works from 8:30-5 at her job, then heads right over to her second job and works there from 5:30-8:30. Saturdays, she has to be at work at 7, and works anywhere from 3-5 with only a half-hour lunch break. The work isn’t bad, she just doesn’t like working that much and not having much in common with her coworkers. Before, we desperately needed that second income but we’re doing much better financially and I’m hoping to snag some type of job when I graduate to begin contributing to the bills. I’m just so thrilled for her, because she deserves to have a normal weekend!
• I’m only completing 2 out of my 5 goals currently. My water intake has been dreadful and while I made it last Saturday with no media, I always forget that I’m supposed to cut myself off from technology at 9pm! And let’s not even get started on my finances. But I still have 10 days left of January. I can still do this.
• The amount of homework I have waiting for me this weekend is a little terrifying. Poems to read, discussions to submit, a test to take, lectures to watch, a letter to write, an article to submit, and a resume to draft. Along with old-school I-feel-like-I’m-back-in-high-school homework from the textbook for Spanish. I just need to buckle down and get to it!

I hope everyone has a splendid weekend! What are your plans? Please, make me jealous with anything not involving homework! Don’t forget to enter my giveaway for a $55 gift certificate to CSN Stores. It ends Sunday at 7pm, the winner will be announced on Monday.

P.S. Go Steelers and Packers this weekend! Woop, woop!

Control

This week has been about taking control back. Maybe my eating habits weren’t the best most days and maybe I could’ve worked out longer and harder, but it was the first time in a long time that I felt like I had control over my body, my eating, and my emotions.

It always happens like this when I get back on track with eating healthy and exercising. I feel like I’m back in the driver’s seat again. I’m putting good, wholesome things in my body. I’m not overindulging and I’m saying “no” to temptations. I’m not mindlessly eating. I’m stopping when I’m satisfied. And I’m letting myself have an extra piece of chocolate if I want to.

Sunday was probably the worst day of it, eating wise, but I wrote down every single thing that touched my lips and accounted for it. And I kept tracking and eating well on Monday and Tuesday.

My snacks have vastly improved from cookie dough and chocolates to carrots and hummus, applesauce with cinnamon, and fiber bars. I made a plan for breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, and things to eat at work if I got hungry. I stuck to the plan and it felt great.

I worked out four days this week: a 15-mile bike ride on Thursday, the Core workout on Saturday (which knocked me out for 2 days. Lauren is not playing around with this routine!), a 2-mile elliptical workout and 10-mile bike ride on Tuesday, and a third bike ride (9.4 miles) on Wednesday. I love being on the bike and I’m definitely going to buy a “real” bike and start biking more seriously after April. Being on the bike makes me happier than anything.

This wasn’t a perfect week. I’m still struggling with drinking the amount of water I need to be drinking, but I’m getting there. This week was a step in the right direction and I just want to build the foundation from here.

Stats
Starting Weight: 159.2 lbs
Current Weight: 155 lbs
Net Difference: –4.2 lbs (HEYYO!)
BMI: 28.3 (-.8)

Weekly Goal
WATER, WATER, WATER. I plan to drink water at all my meals, as well as only drinking water at work. I think this will help immensely, and give me the small push in the right direction that I need.

What’s your favorite go-to healthy snack?

Half-Marathon Training Plan

First and foremost, bloggers participating in the Blogger Book Swap: please make sure to get your books in the mail by this Sunday! And send me a tweet, e-mail, or comment when you do. Currently, I only know of two who have sent them so just keep me in the loop!

I’ll be running the IronGirl Half-Marathon on April 10th. I’m super nervous about it, especially since running is still a big struggle for me. But I’ve already registered so there’s no turning back now. Must. Do. This!
I’ve made a very tentative training plan, using Hal Higdon’s Novice Half-Marathon plan. I’m really not looking to do anything but complete 13.1 miles in a reasonable amount of time.

	MON	TUES	WED	THURS	FRI	SAT	SUN
1/17	REST	3 (5:2)	XT	3 (5:2)	1	STRENGTH	4 (5:2)
1/24	REST	3 (5:2)	XT	3 (5:2)	1.5	STRENGTH	4 (5:2)
1/31	REST	3.5 (6:2)	XT	3.5 (6:2)	2	STRENGTH	5 (6:2)
2/7	REST	3.5 (6:2)	XT	3.5 (6:2)	2.5	STRENGTH	5 (6:2)
2/14	REST	4 (7:2)	XT	4 (7:2)	3	STRENGTH	6 (7:2)
2/21	REST	4 (7:2)	XT	4 (7:2)	3.5	STRENGTH	5 (RACE)
2/28	REST	4.5 (8:2)	XT	4.5 (8:2)	4	STRENGTH	7 (8:2)
3/7	REST	4.5 (8:2)	XT	4.5 (8:2)	4.5	STRENGTH	8 (8:2)
3/14	REST	5 (9:2)	XT	5 (9:2)	5	STRENGTH	6 (9:2)
3/21	REST	5 (9:2)	XT	5 (9:2)	5.5	STRENGTH	9 (9:2)
3/28	REST	5 (9:1)	XT	5 (9:1)	6	STRENGTH	10 (9:1)
4/4	REST	4 (9:1)	XT	2 (9:1)	REST	REST	13.1

Now, some notes:

• I’ll be using a run/walk interval plan because it’s the only way I’ll get through this training cycle. The numbers in parenthesis on my run days is the interval I’ll be running. I will hopefully be up to doing a 9:1 run/walk interval on race day.
• On Fridays, I’m going to try to run these miles the whole way through. This isn’t on Higdon’s training plan, but it’s something I want to try out. I’m not sure if I’ll be up to 6 miles by March 28th, so these are very tentative.
• XT = cross-training. Generally, this will entail the bike and the elliptical.

And, some questions:

• Do you see any problems with my training plan? I’m eager to do this right, and not injure myself in the process.
• Do you think I need the Friday training runs where I’m just running, or should I use them for rest days?
• At what mileage should I eat a Gu? Is there anything you would suggest, aside from Gu, to eat during a long run?

Don’t forget to enter my giveaway - a $55 gift card to CSN Stores. Giveaway closes at 7pm on Sunday.

Ten on Tuesday (Vol. 26)

Another installment of Chelsea’s Ten on Tuesday for your viewing pleasure!

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1. What’s your favorite color to paint your nails?
I am really, really bad at remembering to paint my nails. I should just fork over the money for a pedicure once a month, but I never seem to get around to it. Right now, they’re red and I don’t really have a favorite color. Whatever catches me eye, really!

2. Do you like to sneeze?
No! No, no, no, no, no! I avoid it at all costs, which I know is horrible for you. I hold all my sneezes in when I’m in public, unless I have a tissue. I don’t have a cute sneeze and always have tons of snot. I’m awkward enough as it is without having to deal with my snot-nose.

(Although, when I have a stuffy nose, sneezing feels like heaven!)

3. How often do you fill up your car with gas?
It gets filled up twice a week, once by me and once by my mom.

4. Were you named after anyone?
Nope.

5. Have you made any good recipes lately?
I made these awesome snickerdoodle cookies for my sister-in-law for Christmas. She liked them so much, she requested me to make more for her New Year’s Eve party! Oh, and last night, I made Hungry Girl’s turkey chili which is so good. And makes enough leftovers to last at least a week!

6. What’s an easy money-saving tip that you use regularly?
I try to use the “Come Back Later” rule to stop impulsive purchases. If I see something I want, I make myself wait at least 3 days before buying it. If I still want it as badly as I did 3 days ago, then I can buy it. But I usually find that I didn’t really need it as badly as I first thought.

7. Would you rather have a sore throat or an earache?
Probably a sore throat. They can be annoying but pain falls on maybe a 3 or 4 on a scale of 1-10. When I was little, I got earache’s all the time, although I haven’t gotten any in recent memory. Still, I can’t imagine they would be pleasant. With the 5+ sore throats I got last year, I’m a pro at handling them.

8. Do you have any scars? What are they from?
I have a small, barely recognizeable scare on the inside of my thumb from when I had stitches in September. And I have a scar on my belly where a dog bit me when I was in 5th grade. But that’s about it!

9. What are you “known for” in your circle of friends/family?
Probably my intense love for football and my writing. I want to say my humor, but it may just be me who thinks I’m funny. ;)

10. How do you like to eat your pancakes?
Can I admit that I’m not a big fan of pancakes. I’m really not a big breakfast fan, period. When I do eat them, usually plain with no butter and lots of syrup. Sometimes, with chocolate chips. Mmm…chocolate chip pancakes! I cringe to know what the PointsPlus value of those would be!

Don’t forget to enter my giveaway - a $55 gift card to CSN Stores! Giveaway closes at 7pm on Sunday.

CSN Stores Giveaway

Last month, I hosted my first-ever giveaway on the blog which was incredibly exciting for me. So when CSN Stores approached me to do a giveaway with their company, I jumped at the opportunity! This month, you have a chance to win a $55 gift certificate to CSN Stores. And with their vast array of stores and products, there is really something for everyone.

Check it out!

It’s really so easy to find so many things to buy from CSN. They have 200+ stores, including luggage stores which quickly caught my eye. I realized after my trip to Orlando that I desperately need new luggage. It took us about 3 trips to get from the hotel to the car so this one is perfect! It has so much space and is pretty, too!

 

Then again, I firmly believe everyone should own a Crock-Pot. There’s is nothing like chicken made in a Crock-Pot! It makes cooking so simple and so easy, but you’re still getting a yummy meal! 

You could always show your dog some love with a new bed. This one is perfect for my little cuddlebug!

 

There are multiple ways to enter! (Leave 1 comment per entry)

1. Let me know what you would buy with a gift certificate to CSNStores.com! (1 entry)
2. Tweet about the giveaway. (1 entry)
3. Like “Stephany Writes” on Facebook and leave a comment saying you did. (1 entry)

This giveaway is open until Sunday, January 23rd at 7pm EST. The winner will be chosen via Random.org and will be announced on Monday, January 24. You have 48 hours to contact me via e-mail after the winner is announced, otherwise a new winner will be chosen.

Good luck!

If It Takes Me 300 Attempts, At Least I Never Quit

I’ve been going back and forth with myself on whether or not to post weekly weight updates on here. I’ve never been good at being consistent with these types of posts, but I feel like I need a place to write about the process, the good things and the bad things. I need a place to vent, a place to celebrate, and a place to share.

I’ve written about my history of weight loss in many, many, many posts. I won’t go through it again. Yesterday, I went back to Weight Watchers for what might be my 6th or 7th time. Granted, most of the times I’ve quit have been because of monetary issues but I took a nice, little 4-week hiatus from WW over the holidays because things got rather crazy. I went nuts with my eating and was constantly frustrated and disappointed in myself for not being able to control myself over the holiday season. I would end each day, saying, “I’m going to do better tomorrow,” only to continue the pattern all over again.

Over the past week, I’ve been thinking about all my WW attempts. I usually am very successful if I follow the plan, but eventually get tired of watching everything I eat and having to be so careful. It’s not as if I feel like I’m missing out or depriving myself, but rather that I just want to eat what I want, when I want. There’s a time and a place for indulging – and it’s not everyday. I look back on how many times I’ve quit and it frustrates me. Why can’t I just get it done in one fell swoop? Why do I constantly disappoint myself with these failure attempts? Here’s what I came up with:

So what.

So what if it takes me attempt after attempt after attempt? So what if I keep failing but brushing myself off and trying again? So what if it takes me another 5 years to lose just 40 lbs? This is my journey and it’s going to take me a long time to switch over to a healthy lifestyle. It will not happen over night, over the next few weeks, or even the next few months. I need to remember to take the baby steps and stop getting discouraged when I’m still living in the fat mentality three months from now. I need to celebrate the small victories and grow from the failures.

I know I would be tipping the scales at 200+ lbs if I hadn’t joined WW in 2007. It’s kept me at a steady, albeit overweight, weight. And I’ve learned so much in these 3 1/2 years of going to different WW meetings and learning from different leaders.

But I’m back. I went last night to my first meeting since the beginning of December. I was prepared to gain and prepared to gain a lot. And I did. But I’m ready to get back on the horse, take this one day at a time, and finally change my life. I’m ready to work hard and really delve deeply into what my body needs for fuel and what foods are just junk in my body.

Stats
Starting/Current Weight: 159.2 lbs
BMI: 29.1 (.9 away from obese! Holy crap.)
Net difference: +8 from my last weigh-in
Goal Weight: 120 lbs

Goal For This Week
I’ll only be giving myself one goal to achieve this week, building on the previous week’s goal (if I achieve it). For this week, my only real goal is to follow the plan and stick with my points. I want to get back on track and start feeling more in control of my body and eating habits again.

How was your eating like during the holidays? Did you overindulge, or keep it on track? How did you feel about it?

7:09:56

It’s been a crazy few days around here. I’ve been running around since coming back in town Monday afternoon, attending classes, working, and getting back into the swing of things. I’m finally able to have a moment to write this post.

My mom is officially a marathoner. She finished the Walt Disney World Marathon and while it took her longer than expected, she still finished. And really, that’s all that matters.

I have a post in the works about my spectator experience, because there was a lot of good and a lot of bad that happened during the day. But let’s focus on my mom for today.

It was an early day for my mom, my brother, and I. We left the hotel by 3am in order to arrive at the race site on time. With 17,500+ racers, we knew travel to the race would get pretty heavy closer to 5am, when racers had to be in their corrals. We arrived before 3:30am and basically shivered our butts off while waiting. My mom left us around 4:15am to head over to the corral start and my brother and I got to wait in the freezing cold for the next 2 hours. It was awful. I was dressed in yoga pants, a long-sleeved tech tee, a short-sleeved cotton tee, and a sweatshirt but it was not warm enough at all. My toes were icicles by 5am. I tried sitting down on the ground and reading, but I was just too cold to ever get comfortable.

The race started at 5:30am with the wheelchair racers and then the rest of the runners. While I was supposed to get updates via my phone on my mom, I never got an update of when she started so luckily, Cecelia was able to hop on her computer and help me out! I didn’t get to see my mom at the start because she was on the other side of the street (plus, it was packed with all the runners!) but they circled around at Mile 4 and I got to see her then. She was in pretty good spirits, so it calmed me down somewhat. (I was an emotional wreck the entire day.)

I was able to see my mom at Mile 9 and Mile 12.5, but that was it until the end. I wish I could’ve seen her further in the race because I think it would’ve helped both of us. And since she gave me her cell phone, I didn’t have any way to know where she was or how she was doing. That part sucked so much. I was so worried about her and didn’t know if she had been pulled out or what. She had never ran or walked farther than 13 miles before, so this was a totally new experience for her. I just wanted to see her, make sure she was OK, and give her a pep talk if she needed it.

Around Mile 20, the race organizers started harping on the runners to keep with a 16:00-minute mile pace. My mom had to stay ahead of a girl because if she got behind her, she would get pulled out. So, on a foot with a huge blister on the bottom, my mom had to run. She would run ahead of the girl until she was pretty far ahead then walk until she got close again. It couldn’t have been easy and she said she wanted to give up so badly. But she kept pressing on. When she got to Mile 24, she was able to stay with her own pace because the race organizers said she was good until the end and would get her medal. I couldn’t imagine what those 4 miles were like, though. Nervous of getting pulled out, part of you wanting to be pulled out, but knowing you are so close to the end.

When I saw her turn the corner to the finish line, I was overly emotional. No matter if it takes you 3 hours or 7 hours, finishing a marathon is a huge accomplishment. And she did it! Even with all that was working against her, she kept pressing on, kept training, and finished a marathon.

She was hit by a car on August 13. From September – January 9, she ran a total of 94.9 miles in just races alone. She ran three 5K’s, one 10K, two half-marathons, and a full marathon. That’s crazy. Her legs feel fine and she wasn’t even too sore from the marathon. Her biggest problem is the blister at the bottom of her foot.

But there you have it. My mom ran a marathon. The one who used to say her best exercise was the short .25 mile walk to Wendy’s, who was morbidly obese four years ago, and whose journey to this point all started in 1999 when she left my father…she did it. She ran a marathon. 26.2 miles. Amazing.

(Oh, and while she said on Sunday that she would never, ever run a marathon again. By Monday, she was leaning the other way. I truly believe she will run another one where she can train better.)

Twenty-Six Point Two

Well, the weekend is finally here. On Sunday, my mom is running her first marathon. She may not be prepared in the traditional sense of getting in the mileage she needs. (Her longest run has only been 13.1 miles.) But she’s prepared in the mentally. While she had to take a good 7 weeks off her marathon training to recover from her accident, the minute she got the OK to run, run she did. She’s kept up steady mileage since October. She’s ready.

We’re leaving today at lunchtime for Orlando where we’ll check into our hotel and then head over to the race expo. It’s going to be crazy over there this weekend. There are over 20,000 people signed up for the marathon. That’s nuts! Every hotel is booked and I know it’s going to be annoying to find somewhere to eat on Saturday night. (Especially Italian restaurants!) I’ve never been to a race expo so it’ll be neat to experience it all!

Saturday will be a fun day of sleeping in and hanging out around the hotel. We’ll keep it low-key since Sunday’s going to be insane. My brother, sister-in-law, and nephew are coming up on Saturday night to support my mom during her race. I am so, so, so excited they’re coming and I know it’ll give her the extra something-something she needs to finish her race.

Sunday is going to be crazy. We have to leave the hotel by 3am and head over to the park. (She starts at Epcot.) My brother and I will get to see her four different times during the race: at the beginning, at Mile 4, at Mile 12.5, and at the end. Luckily, the Walt Disney World Marathon has an excellent spectator guide so I was able to print off where I could spot her and how to get there. It’s a little bit different from a regular marathon since she’s running through all the different Disney parks, so it’s very helpful to have this information. My SIL and nephew will join us at the end.

I am so incredibly nervous for my mom. She’s scared of being pulled out of the race because her pace isn’t fast enough, although I think she’ll be OK. She has to maintain a 16-minute mile pace and she’s been averaging 13-minute miles lately. She’s hoping to finish  in 6 hours.

Our other big concern was the weather. Last year, it was 26 degrees. For wimpy Florida folk like us, that is cold. We were anxiously awaiting 10 days until the race so we could finally check the weather. It started pretty scary with a low of 43 degrees and a 20% chance of rain. But it’s gradually worked it’s way up to a low of 53 degrees, although the rain chance remains the same. As a spectator, I am thrilled. I don’t function well with cold weather but I can definitely handle 50-60 degree weather.

It’s an amazing accomplishment and I cannot wait to see her cross that finish line and prove to herself how much she is capable of.

I’ll finish with the quote that was featured in Runner’s World daily e-mails, "You can never be sure. That's what makes the marathon both fearsome and fascinating. The deeper you go into the unknown, the more uncertain you become. But then you finish. And you wonder later, 'How did I do that?' This question compels you to keep making the journey from the usual to the magical.” (Joe Henderson)

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Book Review: Water For Elephants by Sara Gruen

I’m attending my first book club this month and this was the book on the list. Admittedly, I wasn’t excited. I don’t typically read these types of books and the fact that it has gotten rave reviews turned me off. For some reason, I end up enjoying books most people don’t like. The fact that Megan said it was the “greatest book she’s ever read” and Becky said that she was “hooked from the first paragraph” assured me that I wouldn’t like this book.

Oh. My. Gosh. I was wrong.

Water For Elephants was about a boy named Jacob who joined the circus after his parents died just because he was going to take his tests to certify him as a veterinarian. The story also involves Jacob as an older man, 90 or 93, who is living in a nursing home and reminiscing about his early days with the circus. Younger Jacob quickly becomes the show’s vet, even though he’s technically not certified, where he watches over the flurry of animals for the circus. He befriends a man named August and his wife Marlena, whom Jacob falls hard for. The book follows the progression of Jacob, as he grows up and learns the harsh realities of the world. He learns about love, about hatred, about caring for animals and the strength he has within himself.

I absolutely loved every single page of this book. I fell head over heels for both Younger Jacob and Older Jacob because they both possessed an innate strength and zest for life. Seeing how he grew up as he grew into himself was inspiring.

I thought the plot was fantastic and there weren’t any parts that dragged. Gruen kept it moving the whole time. The dialogue was great and I just loved the development of Jacob and Marlena’s relationship. I hated and loved August, all at the same time.

I can’t pinpoint what I loved most about this book, but I was a little surprised at the ending, simply because of the type of book I thought it was. Others might have thought it predictable, but I didn’t. (This is probably because I read a lot of predictable books and really don’t mind the predictability of them.)

I am really, really excited about the movie adaptation of this book. Robert Pattinson is going to play Younger Jacob, which I think can work. I’m not the biggest Pattinson fan, but he was a little of what I pictured Younger Jacob looked like. Reese Witherspoon is going to play Marlena, which I’m not quite sure about. But since I love Reese, I think she can pull it off!

What did this book teach me? I’m not sure. That I need to give popular books a second chance? ;) I think it taught me about inner strength and that you can’t sit back in life. Cliché as it may be, you really have to make lemonade out of lemons. Jacob was on his way to become a Cornell-educated veterinarian and join his father’s practice. Instead, his parents died and he joined the circus. Yet he still managed to make something out of it and found himself in the process. We don’t know where life will take us, but it’s up to us to make the most out of whatever life hands to us.

Have you read this book? What were your thoughts?


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January

I’m bringing back monthly goals in 2011. I am so big on making goals. I think they keep me sane and motivated to do something. I can easily get stuck in a stagnant pattern of everyday life that goals keep me striving for more.

Without further ado, in January, I want to…

• Get back on track. I have gone crazy over these past few weeks with my eating. I’m not tracking, drinking enough water, or exercising like I should. I need to get back to Weight Watchers meetings and get back to taking my health seriously. I don’t want to end 2011 the same way I ended 2010, but it’s going to take a lot of hard work and dedication to get there.
• Drink at least 24oz of water a day. I suck at drinking water. Seriously. I hate the taste, no matter if it’s room temperature, ice cold, or flavored. It’s a necessary evil and I want to work on drinking more of it because I have to stop drinking so much soda! I’m starting small in January, just 24oz a day. I want to someday easily drink 70-80oz of water a day. Baby steps, though.
• Be less connected. I am terribly connected to my laptop, Blackberry, and iPod Touch. I am constantly one on of those forms of technology all day. I want to live more in the moment and stop depending on my technology to keep me busy and occupied. Ideally, I’d like to completely disconnect once a day, but I want to start with shutting down all forms of technology by 9pm and media fasting on Saturdays. I can get too caught up in the online world that I forget to actually be here, in the moment.
• Help out more. I’ve fallen into a pattern of letting housework slide and my mom take on the stress of maintaining a household. I want to help out more around the house and take a more active role in it. One day, I will have my own apartment to take care of, but I can’t forget that this is also my apartment and I need to take care of this one as well.
• Get serious about my money. Admittedly, I let my finances slide a little during the holiday season. I used my credit card more than I should and was intent on spending, spending, spending. I need to buckle down, though, and start paying off my credit cards, saving, and spending more wisely. This starts with calling my collection agency to get my monster bill taken care of. It continues with sitting down, creating a budget, and sticking to it. I need to get serious about saving and paying off my credit cards.

And to further motivate me to complete these goals are these:

    

A new sports bra (the ones I use are a few years old and stretched out. My mom uses these and loves them) and an OtterBox cell phone cover (I need one, as a notorious phone dropper, and these are the best). Whatever works, right? If I accomplish my goals, I get to reward myself!

I hope your January is off to a rocking start! Do you have any goals, big or small, for this month?

2011 Resolutions

Happy 2011!


Last year, I thought it was better to make three big resolutions. They were the three areas I struggle with the most and I wanted to gain control over them in 2010. I didn’t even come close. So, this year, I’m back to making smaller resolutions that will lead to completing this big goals I still have set for myself.

1. Get to my goal weight of 115 – 120 lbs. My biggest goal of 2011 and a goal I set for myself every year. Let’s make 2011 the year I can finally mark this goal completed and not have a repeat in 2012.

2. Run a half-marathon. I’m officially registered for the IronGirl Half-Marathon on April 10th. I start training in February and until then, I’m working on building up my running endurance. I think it’s what I needed to motivate me to keep running.

3. Graduate from college. God willing, this will happen on May 8, 2011. I haven’t even processed the fact that I will be a college graduate this time next year or that my life won’t be consumed by schooling after May. I am shaking with joy to finally be almost finished and ready to tackle the real world!

4. Read 100 books. A fairly achievable goal for me, someone who is always reading. I’ve never really calculated how many books I read in a year, so this will give me a way to track.

5. Begin working a full-time job, utilizing my degree. I’m not even a little bit certain of where I want to end up when I graduate, but I do know I want to be out of the preschool and working full-time at a more professional workplace.

6. Join a book club. Being a book nerd, I’ve always wanted to belong to a book club but I’ve never really taken the steps to find one. Come January, I will attend my first meeting and it is my hope that I find a place where I feel comfortable and a place where I can meet people.

7. Pay off all my credit cards. Currently, I have 3 cards that I need to get caught up. I’m ready to pay off my biggest one (80% of my debt) and I just need to gather up the courage to call my collection agency and put it into motion. (I’m nervous about what I need to say/do.) The other two credit cards should be paid off by June. My plan is to get rid of two of the cards, keeping the one my bank gave me.

8. Travel. I haven’t traveled out of state since 2007 and I’m desperately feeling the need to travel. I have my sights set on a trip after I graduate, either a cruise or a trip to NYC. And I hope I can visit some other states this year.

9. Complete Project 365. I tried this project a few months ago but I only got about a month in before I got overwhelmed. But I have a new, fancy camera and a determination to document my year, since I’m so bad at documenting things through pictures.

10. Begin therapy. I know therapy will be the stepping stone for me to begin working through all my feelings I shove into the back of my mind, never to be dealt with. But I am so, so scared to take that first step. To call up my school and ask for an appointment. To fill out paperwork. To have that first initial meeting. I’m scared I won’t connect with my therapist and I’ll be back to square one. But I have to try. I have to see if this is the road I need to take.