A Grocery Dilemma

via 

My mom and I have a serious problem. A serious spending problem. In August alone, we have spent around $710 on groceries.

For two people.

That’s ridiculous.

When I read about others’ grocery budgets and bills, I am in awe of how little you manage to spend. I know eating healthy is more expensive than eating junk, but I also know you can eat healthy on a budget.

Our problem doesn’t simply lie with our weekly trips to Publix, it’s also those little midweek trips we like to take when we only need to buy a few things, but always seems to be at least $30.

I need your help, blog friends. In a big way. How the heck do you guys keep your grocery bills so low?!

Here are some statistics on our grocery problem:

• Toiletries are included in the $710. We’re thinking of doing a separate biweekly toiletries trip at Target. How do you shop for toiletries?
• We usually buy our meat in small quantities, to only use for one meal. This tends to be very wasteful, though, so is bulk the way to go?
• We buy our fruit/veggies at the grocery store. Our Farmer’s Market doesn’t open until October 1st.
• We only buy weekly now, though I would like to switch to biweekly.
• We do use coupons, but only the ones from the Sunday paper generally and they don’t yield us a whole lot in savings.

There is a Sam’s Club 6 miles from where I live and a Costco around 8 miles from me. While I would like to start shopping at a bulk-food store, we just haven’t gotten around to it yet. Is it worth it?

Any help, tips, and/or smacks upside the head for being such a shopping dimwit are greatly appreciated!

Ten on Tuesday (Vol. 38)

1. What is your favorite brand of shoes?

I don't really have one. Usually, I hit up Target or Famous Footwear when I want to buy new shoes. (And it is only recently that I've been interested in more than just flats and flip-flops!) I'm still not very brand-conscious when it comes to buying shoes. Just whatever looks pretty!

2. How old were you when you learned to tie your shoes?

I don't think I learned until kindergarten, because I distinctly remember my father yelling at me while he took me to school when I was in kindergarten about not knowing how to tie my shoes. I'm guessing I learned quickly after that.

3. How do you feel about freckles?

I love freckles! I don't have any of my own, but I've always wanted some. I'm also really very jealous of the smattering of freckles across my mom's and brother's shoulders. I want shoulder freckles of my own!

4. I can count to ten in ___ languages.

Three. English, Spanish, and Japanese. And if you count Pig Latin as a language, then four.

5. What is your favorite store-bought ice cream flavor?

Chocolate chip cookie dough. No question. Best flavor to ever exist. (A very close second is Publix-brand Chocolate Trinity. Omgggg. Heaven. Pure, blissful heaven.)

6. Were you in ballet or gymnastics as a girl?

No, but I desperately, desperately wanted to be in gymnastics. After watching the 1996 Olympics, I was convinced I would be in the 2000 Olympics, not concerned with the fact I was already 8 years old and could barely do a straight cartwheel. (I did not perform in the Olympics, in case you're wondering and I know you are.) I did t-ball and cheerleading, instead.

7. Who is your favorite Sesame Street character?

Elmo, since he's my nephew's favorite. Also, Elmo is just so cool and adorable and talks in third person. What's not to love?

8. What's your bedtime?

Ideally, 10:00pm but I usually don't get to bed until 10:30 or 11:00.

9. Do you have any jewelry that you wear every single day?

No. I rarely ever wear jewelry.

10. Who is the bug killer in your household?

Whomever finds the bug first! I've killed my fair share of cockroaches, spiders, and flies, as has my mom.

Who knows how to count to ten in another language? Teach me!


*Questions by Chelsea

From 20 to 40

I was really worried about how hard the adjustment from being a part-timer to a full-timer would be. At the preschool, I typically worked 20-25 hours a week. I was usually done for the day around noon or earlier. Big changes like a new job are hard for me and there’s an adjustment period that takes place until I feel settled and as if my feet are on solid ground. There were so many times I questioned myself by accepting this new job. Was it the right decision?

To answer the last question, abso-freaking-lutely. I can’t even tell you how much I love my job and now that I’m doing more tasks, it’s gotten even better. The past two days, I’ve had work to do from the minute I walked in until the minute I left. No observation or sitting around, twiddling my thumbs.

As for the worry about adjusting to a full-time schedule? It hasn’t been much of an issue at all. My days absolutely fly by and most days, I look at the clock and think, “It’s already 4:30?” instead of “It’s only 4:30?” I thought I would miss having my afternoons off, but it feels good to be productive. It also helps that my work day doesn’t start until 9:00, instead of 6:30. (Driving to work with the sun out is pretty awesome, let me tell you.)

I think what I noticed right off the bat was how much my energy levels improved. I remember days when I would have been at my old job for just a few hours and my energy levels were so depleted. That job was emotionally and physically exhausting and sometimes I wondered how I would make it through the rest of the day. And I was only working part-time! How the full-timers do it, I will never know. Eight hours at my new job is a piece of cake compared to 4 or 5 hours at my old one. The work I’m doing can be mind-numbing and a lot to take in, but it doesn’t deplete my energy level. (It also helps I work with fun people who have amazing attitudes and energies.)

I had a few people remark about how working a regular, full-time job is similar to the time when I was working part-time and going to school. I’ve only been out of school for 3 months so my knowledge of how that time of my life was is still fresh in my mind. When I was going in school, my days were generally 6:30 - 1ish. Some days I would be going from work to classes to my internship to a night class, leaving the house at 6:00 AM and not returning until 9:30 PM. My afternoons, nights, and weekends were filled up with homework and studying and writing papers. The biggest difference between that time of my life and now is my weekends. My weekends are finally my time. I can do whatever I want and maintain any schedule I want. I don’t have to worry about making sure I started on this assignment or finished that paper. I spend 8 hours at my job a day and then come home and can leave it all behind. Once I’m done with work, I’m on my own schedule. It’s such an amazing feeling. (And makes me wonder if I’ll ever go back to get my Master’s. I’m enjoying my freedom a little too much to even think about it right now.)

My days are long. I leave the house around 8:15 and don’t return until 7:30 or later. (I head to the gym for an hour right after work.) But it doesn’t feel like such a chore, like my long days before did. It just feels like my new life. I think it helps that I’m spending most of my day at a place I enjoy and am starting to find my place in. It leads to a specific amount of joy in my life. For the first time in a very long time, I don’t feel stagnant and unhappy with the place I am in life. I finally feel happy to begin each day. It’s really one of the best feelings in the world.

A Birthday

Today, my blog turns two.

I didn’t celebrate my blog anniversary last year. It passed by without me even realizing it. But I’ve been thinking a lot about my blog lately, the direction it’s headed and whether or not I’m happy with the content I’m publishing.

I’m very critical of myself. I can be even more critical of my writing. I’m also Queen of the Comparing Game so I find myself comparing myself to other bloggers on a regular basis. I think I’ve matured from the “how come they have so many followers?” questions and I’m more concerned with comparing my content to what other bloggers are producing. I never want to be a blogger who posts just to post but I know I have had the tendency to do that on occasion. I rather envy those who don’t write with any specific schedule in mind, just whenever they feel the urge to write.

Sometimes, I want to get back to my days of early blogging where I blogged whenever I wanted to. I didn’t adhere to a strict five-days-a-week schedule, or have this need to get a post up every weekday morning. All of my posts had some kind of meaning attached to them, even though nobody was reading.

That said, I started this blog to find my blogging voice and establish community. I never imagined making the friendships I have made through this space and they are so true and real. It’s hard to talk about these friendships to non-bloggers because they just don’t understand. They don’t understand how I can write a blog post, thinking I’m the only one who feels the way I do, and receive responses from friends who tell me they get me. They understand. They are on the same page. These friendships may not have been made in person, but that doesn’t make them any less real. Some of you have been more excited and supportive about my new job than my own family members.

But here we are. Two years after writing my first post for this blog. I’m in a much better place now than I was then. I’m happier, more secure in myself. I know exactly the path I want my life to take, but also know God’s plans have the tendency to be completely different. I know what I want out of life, and know I have to do Big Things to make it happen.

This next year will be a whirlwind. My life is changing, for the better. I am changing. And I have big plans for this blog. Plans to take it in a different direction, put the focus back on the reason I started this blog: to write.

I love this place I’ve created for myself and for the people who read this blog. I love that people see me as raw and honest. I love the friendships that I’ve made and the hard truths I’ve discovered about myself - and written about. I have as much - probably more - passion for blogging as I did when I started. It’s been an amazing two years, and I can’t wait to see what happens in another year with Stephany Writes. I’m sure it will be amazing.

Five For Friday: Some Tidbits

1 - I have the above photo posted next to my computer at work. I will never be unhappy again.

2 - Last Saturday, I got up early and went to the gym to do a Couch to 5K workout and I just kept thinking to myself, “Why am I doing this? I hate it.” And I realized that I never say that about my spin classes. Yes, they are extremely difficult but I never think to myself, “Why am I doing this?” All I think about how hard it is, to just get through this song, to not let the girl next to me beat me. ;) I just need to stop with this attempt at becoming a runner, because I just don’t think I was made for it.

3 - My Erin Condren Life Planner arrived yesterday and it’s a thing of beauty. I just hope I use it! I’ve been a terrible planner keeper in the past. Also? Erin Condren gives some insane coupon deals when you buy something from her website! I definitely have a few Christmas gifts in mind to buy in the very near future.

4 - I have not watched one preseason NFL football game. I’m a terrible fan but really? Preseason is such a tease! It’s not worth it and the majority of the game is interviews anyway.

5 - I forgot to link it but I had a guest post on Melissa’s blog yesterday, talking about why YOU should go on a cruise. And the best part? My mom and I will be booking a May 2012 cruise this weekend! SQUEE!!! We found an amazing deal on a 6-day cruise that will take us to Key West, Grand Cayman, and JAMAICA (I’ve wanted to visit Jamaica for the longest time!). And this go around, I’m going to be forking over the dough for my part which makes it even more exciting, in my book. No more mooching for Steph!

Happy weekend, friends!

Letters To My Future Husband: Where My Head Is At

Dear husband,

I’ve felt a pressing need to write to you. I don’t know why, but there has been a heaviness in my heart lately when I think about you.

The thing is, we’ve got an amazing love story in the works. God has the pen. He’s writing it as I write this letter. He’s formulating the dates, carving our lives so they fit perfectly into one another’s. He knows exactly who you are. He knows exactly when I will say “I do”. And He’s more concerned about making me into the woman I need to be for you right now.

And that’s ok. But I’m getting impatient, as always. Darling, I want you meet you so badly! I want to learn the planes of your face, the special catch in your voice as you laugh, the little expressions you make when you’re concentrating hard on something.

I’ve found out recently how hard it can be being a single Christian. People keep telling me I need to put myself out there more, date around, see what I like. It sounds great in theory, doesn’t it? That’s what we’re supposed to do, right? It may be something you’re doing right now.

I struggle a lot with knowing what it means to let God write my love story. I know I won’t wake up one day, knowing, “Today I am going to meet my future husband.” I know there needs to be some movement forward on my part. But how much movement? When does my movement inhibit the work of God? Is online dating the path God wants me on, or does He have something bigger in mind and I’m just too stubborn to heed the calling?

Maybe getting more plugged in and connected with my church will help. It can’t hurt. I know I want to marry a strong Christian man and I won’t settle for anything less. I’ve seen what happens when people settle and that’s not the life I want for myself. Strong Christian men are found in churches, not in bars. Not that strong Christian men don’t go to bars, but there’s a point I’m trying to make here.

I need to get my life centered around Christ. I need Him to be the focal point. I need to fall in love with Him, to hear Him whisper sweet nothings in my ear, to know exactly what it means to be living a Christ-centered life. I think that’s the key to letting Him show me to you. I need to remember that He wants me to be His first, and only then will He give me to you.

I hope you know what it means to live a Christ-centered life. I’m still struggling. But I’ll get there. And if you’re struggling to, I hope you know I’m praying for you, thinking about you, and imagining our life together every day. And I hope you know how much I already love you, foibles and all.

Love,

Your wife

My New Job

My new job is exciting. I’ve never done this type of work before (advertising) but it’s right up my alley! I’m doing lots of observations and shadowing right now, but my boss is slowly handing over the reins. We’re beginning to move some spreadsheets and marketing plans over to Google Docs, after a suggestion by moi. I’m trying to be patient but I’m so ready to have more responsibilities and projects. Everything is so exciting and thrilling to learn, to a girl who spent her schooling writing crappy newspaper articles and spent two-and-a-half years in a daycare.

My new job is tough. I sat in on a budgeting/media planning meeting yesterday and it was intense. I think I was lost within the first 30 seconds, but it’s good for me to just be there, hearing what’s going on and why. There is so much to learn with this job but I’m not expected to pick everything up within my first week. My boss has an incredible amount of spreadsheets with so many rows and columns, color-coded to remind her of things she needs to do, that it makes my brain spin looking at it too long. I’m starting to get the feel for her spreadsheets, though. There is a method to her madness, for sure! :)

My new job has a different energy surrounding it. I don’t know how to say this in a nice way, but there was a lot of negativity at my old job. So much so that I tried to keep to myself as much as possible and would dread going to work the next day because of the drama. There were so many people there that made me question why they were working at this place if it made them so miserable. At my new job? There’s a totally different atmosphere. Maybe I’m just so new that I don’t see it, but these people seem to actually enjoy their work. Who knew?! They don’t have easy jobs and have to meet tough deadlines, keep customers happy, and deal with all sorts of mishaps but they maintain a fun, lively atmosphere and don’t let the little things bog them down. They are all hard workers and I feel absolutely blessed to be surrounded by this energy and feeling of support.

My new job leaves me feeling fulfilled. I had been feeling very uninspired and unmotivated in the past few months. After graduation and my cruise, my life was filled with the ups and downs of job searching. Getting interviews, being turned down, submitting resumes over and over again to no avail. There was nothing exciting happening and nothing exciting would happen until I received a job offer. I felt like I would be stuck at my old job for another year and every Monday, I felt sick to my stomach because that my life was still the same. Granted, I could have done more during this time to motivate me without having a job, but I wasn’t in that mindset. I feel less tired and sluggish working 40 hours a week than I did working 25. I am undeniably more happy and satisfied with my life. I’m challenged and pushed to use my brain and problem-solving abilities. Most of all, I am using the degree I put so much work into.

My new job will not always be this delightful. When you know, you know. Just like in a relationship, this job is in the brand-new stages and being new and exciting. I’m in the honeymoon phase where everything is puppies and rainbows and sunshine. But I also know I will encounter bumps in the road. I will make mistakes and doubt myself. I will wonder why I ever thought this job was so amazing in the first place. There will be weeks where I am so busy I can’t see straight and weeks where I am so happy I could cry. I’m prepared for this, because my life has been a series of rollercoasters and I know what it’s like to encounter bumps and valleys in the road. 

My new job makes me so happy I didn’t settle. During my first-ever post-grad interview, I went on an all-day second round interview shadowing assignment where I followed a veteran sales rep and a newly hired sales rep as they went door-to-door to businesses, selling office supplies. (Yes, selling office supplies. What a thrilling job!) I remember telling the veteran how this wasn’t the job I thought it would be (I figured more marketing, less sales) and the newbie told me something I haven’t been able to get out of my mind for the past week. He said, “Yeah, this wasn’t the job I thought it would be, either. But, you know, a job is a job.” Is it, though? Can we strive for more? Is that being too naive? Perhaps, but I’d rather be naive and happy than in a job that made me miserable. I keep thinking about the what ifs. What if I had tried harder to get the job in the last-round interview? What if I was a door-to-door sales rep, doing something just to have a job? What if I had settled? I am so very glad I didn’t. I’m so very glad I followed my heart and found this opportunity for me to flourish and grow.

My new job scares me to death. I’m only one week into my three month probationary period and all I can think of is how happy I am with my new life and how scared I am that I won’t live up to expectations and will not make it past these three months. I know it’s a silly worry because all I have to do is show I’m willing to learn and happy to be there and it’s all gravy. My boss has already said she’s impressed with how quickly I catch onto things, so I just need to keep that up. Keep impressing her, keep learning. But I’m a worrywart by nature, so I guess I had to worry about something.

My new job is making me the happiest I’ve ever been in my life. More than graduation, more than my cruise. I finally feel like I’m doing something worthwhile with my life. I’m no longer stagnant, no longer waiting for my life to start. It has started. It started a long time ago. But I’m finally living it the way I was meant to.

Ten on Tuesday - All About Jobs

I am literally so excited for this round of Ten on Tuesday questions. They come at the perfect time for me! Hosted by the awesome Chelsea, as always.

1. What do you do for a living?

I work in the media department of an advertising agency. I'm an assistant right now, learning the ropes. We promote giveaways for charities.

2. What's your favorite thing about your job?

I started my job on Wednesday so I'm brand-spankin'-new and in the honeymoon phase right now. I love my desk. I love my co-workers. I love my bosses. I love my new schedule. I love the work. I love the spreadsheets. I love the organizing. I love going the bathroom whenever I want. I love wearing cute outfits to work. I love the atmosphere and environment. Oh! I just love this job!

3. What's your least favorite thing about your job?

The newness. There is so much I want to do already but I have so much to learn before I do that. The good news is that they don't expect you to jump in on your first day and know how to do everything. They know it's a process and my boss has been very good at training me and making sure I'm kept in the loop. I cannot wait for the day when everything becomes common knowledge, but I'm patient to wait and be trained the right way first.

4. If you weren't a _____, what would you be?

I would probably still be working at the daycare. I'm shuddering right now.

5. What is something you would love to get paid for that you think no one would ever pay you for?

Sleeping. I wish I could get paid to get 10 hours of sleep a night. How awesome would that be?

6. If you could have any job for exactly one day, what would it be?

I think everyone needs to do a job in retail or customer service for one day. I worked at a movie theater one summer and it's amazing how customers act. I genuinely loved serving our customers but I think many consumers don't understand what it's like for the workers. They're just rude and usually, it's not the fault of the staff.

I would also love to be Kelly Ripa for one day. But on a day when she's co-hosting with Anderson Cooper. Regis gets on my nerves.

7. If you had to do manual labor, what would you do?

Working at a daycare is manual labor, right? Running after kids, changing diapers, cleaning boo-boos, getting kicked/hit/screamed at. Sounds like it to me! ;)

8. What is something you were forced to learn in high school that was supposed to be super important, but you never actually use?

Geometry? I don't know if it was ever labeled as super important but honestly, I think it's all important in some aspect. You need English and grammar skills. You need to know your history because you just look like ignorant if you don't. You need to know math, because many jobs use it and it gives you a lot of good problem-solving skills. Et cetera, et cetera. It's all important in a way.

9. Who was your favorite boss? Why?

I guess I can't choose my current one, since she's only been my boss for four days. Hehe. I have to say that my former one, at the daycare, was pretty spectacular. She was tough on me, but also so supportive of everything I was going through, especially my schooling.

10. Where would you rather work: Dunder Mifflin Paper Company (The Office), Wernham Hogg Paper Company (The Office - UK), or Initech (Office Space)?

I've never seen the UK version of The Office or Office Space (don't shoot!). But I have seen many, many episodes of The Office and I would love to work for them. But only when Pam was the secretary and Michael was the boss. The new secretary (still don't know her name) annoys me and an office without Michael Scott? How does that even work?

Book Review: American Wife by Curtis Sittenfeld

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Title: American Wife
Author: Curtis Sittenfeld
Genre: Fiction
Year: 2009
Rating: 3 of 5 stars

***

I should start off this book review by saying I’m always skeptical of how I will like a book that is wildly popular. All of my friends on Goodreads have rated American Wife 4 or 5 stars so I thought I would take a chance on the book. It had a good premise and I was intrigued by the fact that it was loosely based on the life of Laura Bush.

The beginning of this book was slow, the middle was fascinating, and the end was confusing. I know the beginning set up to show how Alice Lindgren would face the trials of the rest of her life, but it was very slow-moving for me but I kept reading, hoping it would get better. The middle of the book utterly captivated me. I loved reading about a more grown-up Alice, independent and sassy yet content to lead a quiet life - someone I closely identified with - and her romance with Charlie. The end of the book, about Alice and Charlie’s life as President and First Lady was very confusing for me. There were constant switches from the present day to the past and sometimes I could barely keep track. (It wasn’t until the end when I realized the present day had all taken place on ONE day.) It felt very chaotic for me.

The character development in this story was outstanding. I felt a kinship with Alice, relating to her quiet nature. I love the way Alice was written, as a quiet lady but also someone who has determination and morals. I absolutely loved Charlie and the way he loved his wife. He had major faults, none more apparent than when he was an alcoholic, but there always lied this playfulness and deep love for Alice and his daughter. Ellie stole my heart, along with Alice’s grandmother, and Charlie’s family. All the characters were alive and vibrant, with their own set of issues and problems.

The book gave a good, albeit fictional, glimpse into the life of a politician’s wife. Although the majority of the story focused on Alice’s past and there was only a small chunk devoted to life as First Lady, it was interesting to see how the wife of a controversial President reacts to situations. I’ve never been one to sit on my high horse and bash a President because I truly (maybe naively) believe they are doing the best job they can. They have the hardest job in the world and have to deal with so many situations I cannot even begin to think about. The First Lady is there to support her husband. She may not always agree with what he chooses, but she supports him because that’s what you do in a marriage.

I gave the book 3 stars because Goodread tells me that means I “liked it”. Four stars equals “really liked it” (which I didn’t). And 5 stars means I thought “it was amazing”. (Nope.) It was a good book with a good tone and voice. For me, it was very slow-moving in parts and there were a lot of scenes I thought didn’t exactly need to be there. I would still recommend this book, because I think the writing gives it the edge.

What were your thoughts on this book (if you’ve read it)?

August 13, 2010

One year ago today, I was brushing my teeth at 6:00 a.m., almost ready to leave for work. It was a Friday and it was the last Water Day of the summer. I wasn’t looking forward to how crazy it would be.

One year ago today, I heard my dog whining and pawing at the door but shrugged it off, thinking he probably thought he heard something. I continued brushing my teeth.

One year ago today, I heard my mom open the door and didn’t think anything of it until I heard her say my name at the bathroom door. I turned around, took one look at her, and promptly spilled all the water and toothpaste that was in my mouth as my mouth open wide in shock, as her face and clothes were covered in blood.

One year ago today, I heard my mom say the words, “I was hit by a car. I think I need to go to the emergency room.” Words I never expected to hear, even with all her early morning runs outside.

One year ago today, I drove my mom to a deserted emergency room where we were quickly seen. There were tests to be run, police to be called, and information to be given. Once it was clear this wasn’t a hit-and-run and my mom had left the scene willingly (she was scared out of her mind and it still irks me that these people who hit her didn’t force her to stay or at least give her their information), the police left and it was simply a case for the doctors.

One year ago today, I breathed sighs of relief as my mom was cleared of any head trauma or internal injuries. I watched a surgeon put 18 stitches above her left eyebrow. I winced as the cuts on her hands, elbows, and knees were cleaned and bandaged. We found out she had broken her elbow.

 

One year ago today, I took my mom home after 5 hours in the emergency room. I watched her stumble and fall while I tried to get her into the house. I watched her eyes roll back into her head and never again do I want to be that scared.

It was the scariest morning of my life and what followed were weeks of taking care of the household and my mother. But when I think about what August 2010 could have been like - scheduling her funeral, learning to live life without a mother -, I feel so blessed and thankful God granted me this opportunity to show my mother how much she means to me.

I think about today. August 13, 2011. It could have been the one-year anniversary of my mother’s death. When I think about all we have been through in the past year - my graduation, our cruise, countless moments together, all the moments watching her be a grandma to my sweet nephew - I just can’t imagine what this year would have been like if it had been without her. One of my biggest fears in life is losing my mother. She is more than a mother to me. She is my best friend, my rock, my confidante, my support system and biggest cheerleader, the person who still picks me up when I fall down and never fails to cheer me up when I’m sad. Even thinking about going through this world without her is unbearable.

 

It’s been a year. One full year exactly since my mom was hit by a car. She celebrated by running 8 miles this morning and then attending a Weight Watchers meeting where she finally got back to her Lifetime status. I’d say she just came full circle.

Wine and Love, v.5

Hosted by Nora 

Wine-ing about...

Boot camp. I’m not very pleased with the woman trainer. Let me say I love the male trainer and I wish we had opted to do personal training with him, but I cannot stand the female trainer (also the lead). She’s very condescending towards me and I get this feeling that she doesn’t think I can do all that much. I have done every group fitness class aside from yoga at the gym and I can keep up with them all. I am not weak and, as a trainer, you need to show me I am stronger than I believe. On Wednesdays, when it’s a full group, all her focus is on the women with 0% body fat who probably run 6-minute miles. She works with them more than us, which makes no sense to me at all. I feel as if we’re pushed aside because we’re fat, while they’re glorified because of their hot bodies. It’s very discouraging and I wish I hadn’t wasted $70. (Or rather, my mom hadn’t wasted $140 for both of us.)

Our apartment. We (reluctantly) told our complex we were going to be renewing our lease. It’s been 10 days and we still have not received our lease to sign. We were told we would have it by the end of last week but my mom has called the office repeatedly and it’s as if they don’t even know our lease is up for renewal! They are up to their eyeballs in renovations and it’s leaving no room for them to keep up with everything else. They are so unorganized and it’s making us doubt our decision to stay here. When we moved in, the apartment manager Heather made us feel like we were VIPs and she knew exactly who were, what apartment we lived in, and what our goals in life are. This new management is terrible and more focused on improving the outside of the complex and not worried one iota about pleasing the residents inside the complex.

Loving...

My new job. I promise a nice long update once I get more settled into my new role, but so far, so good. My first day went exceptionally well and I look forward to gaining more experience, taking on more responsibilities, and learning all I can. And I now have a Big Girl company e-mail. If that doesn’t make someone feel like an adult, I don’t know what will!

Feeling more in control. My eating habits haven’t been excellent this week, but I haven’t felt as out of control as I have in the past few weeks. I still have a lot of changes to make and surprisingly enough, I think my job will help me with my constant afternoon snacking. I can eat a good breakfast before work now, bring a healthy lunch and healthy snacks to munch on throughout the day. I won’t have my entire fridge, freezer, and pantry to choose from anymore. ;)

Nephew time. My mom and I watched my nephew from Sunday night until Monday late afternoon. My SIL’s father had to have surgery and we volunteered to watch the little monster for her. This kid is the most strong-willed and stubborn one I have ever met, but he is so hilarious and cute that it makes up for it all. Also? Waking up the my nephew chanting “Titi Steph! Titi Steph!” may be the best way to wake up ever.

Big Brother. Oh, my goodness. This show. THIS! SHOW! In a way, I’m glad it’s only for a few months during the summer because I can’t take the stress of this show. This week was insane. So many ups and downs! Jeff and Jordan may be my favorite couple of all time, I must admit. I kinda adore them and would like an invite to their wedding, please and thank you.

What is your wine and love for this week?

The Beginning

Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

(Hello, my name is Stephany and I love the cheese.)

I start my new job today and I’m equal parts excited and nervous. I am so relieved that I have found a job, one I feel will challenge and push me in different ways.

I am excited...

...about working for a lady I had an instant connection with, learning everything I can about marketing and advertising.

...about growing as a professional.

...about getting rid of my polos and khakis for cute, professional wear.

...about going into work 2.5 hours later than I’m used to, even if I am working longer hours.

...about being able to be financially independent for the first time in my life.

I am nervous...

...about performing well. I have performance anxiety from my internship days, wondering if I’ll measure up to their standards.

...about how I’m going to handle switching from being a part-timer to a full-timer, in a completely different job.

...about the work environment and how long it will take me to feel comfortable.

...about how long it will take me to get used to a new schedule and new duties.

...about what things in my life I will need to eliminate to make room for the new things in my life.

I know the next few weeks are going to be insane for me. There is so much I have to learn and do. The woman I will be working for told me she spent her first month in a fog with all the new stuff she had to learn. But I am taking the first step in the next stage of my life and it’s thrilling. I feel so blessed to be given this opportunity and I’m not going to take one day for granted.

Ten on Tuesday - Mac or PC?

1. Mac or Windows? (Or Linux for you super geeks!)

I use Windows right now but I will be switching over to Mac soon. The laptop I have now is on its last leg (it needs a new battery + a new power cord) and I’m just ready for a change. I’ve wanted a Mac for years and I’m finally going to get myself one. I’m super excited, but holding off until probably the new year to buy it. (A car comes first!)

2. What drew you to that operating system?

The price, to be honest. My old Toshiba laptop had died a few months earlier and I was saving up to buy the cheapest laptop I could that would also work well for all my school projects and Internet things I would be doing. My old Toshiba had lasted 5 years while I had gotten an HP laptop in 2006 that died within 2 years so I definitely wanted to stick with a Toshiba. This one was about $450 total which was within my budget. It’s been a good computer, but I’m just ready for a change.

3. Mice - wireless or wired? Mousepad or none?

I don’t use a mouse, just the trackpad that’s on my laptop. Since I rarely use my computer on a level surface, there’s really no point. But to answer the question, wireless and with a mousepad. Using one without just feels funny!

4. Other than the Internet - what do you use your computer most for?

To write blogs that will go on the Internet? Honestly, take away the Internet, and there’s not much I do on this thing! Hehe. I should be doing more writing but I never seem to get around to it.

5. What’s one computer-related thing you wish you were best at? (CSS, Photoshop, Excel, etc.)

I would really like to be better at HTML/CSS. I know the basics of it, but not enough to do anything with it. I can tweak blog designs, but nothing more than that.

6. Describe the first time you ever used a computer.

I believe it was this big, clunky computer we got from a friend. I wrote a story on it, my first ever!, about a kindergarten class. It was pretty awful and boring. I also played Where In the World is Carmen Sandiego? That game was super fun.

7. How often do you upgrade to a new operating system?

Every few years when I get a new computer. I wish I had Windows 7 on this computer. My mom has it on hers and it’s really awesome. 

8. Are you a shortcutter (CTRL + C) or a right-clicker?

Usually, I right click. It’s something I’ve become so used to, and it drives me crazy that you can’t do that in Google Docs. I almost always highlight the entire selection I want to copy, right click, forget I can’t use that option, and have to rehighlight the whole selection to do CTRL + C. It’s really very annoying.

9. Is computer use a constant thing in your life (such as using it at both work and home) or do you get a break (because you don’t use them at work)?

At my old job, it wasn’t a constant thing but it will be at my new job. In a way, this excites me because I like being connected but in a way, it makes me fear what my home life will resemble since I’ll be using it so much at work. I don’t know if I’ll still be as connected at home or will want a break from it. Time will tell!

10. Where do you think the world would be if personal computers did not exist?

I think we would have found something else to occupy our time with. I have no idea what it would be but we have been constantly evolving with the way we live from the beginning of time so I’m pretty sure there would be something else to make our lives easier, if not for the personal computer.

Ten on Tuesday is run by Chelsea of Roots and Rings. Questions from Kara of Chatter.

On Being a Christian Single

I don’t fit in at church. Or at least I don’t feel like I do. I’ve attempted to join small groups, but have never felt fully comfortable and supported in those settings. I feel out of place. And I know 75% of it is me and my tendency to revert into my shell when forced into social settings, especially social settings involving cute boys who love Jesus. (Be still my heart.) I know I don’t put in the full effort, but sometimes I feel like it shouldn’t be this hard. I should be able to find my place in the church without it causing such a hassle on my heart.

The thing is, dating is hard. And it’s even harder when you’re a Christian. I’ve been told before that I shouldn’t have such high standards in seeking a partner, that being a Christian shouldn’t be so high on my list. To which I want to reply, who are you to tell me what to want in my future husband? I want a partner who is just as invested in his walk with Christ as I am, and I will not enter into a relationship where God is not at the center. This is non-negotiable for me.

But I do have high standards. Not only do I want a partner who is a Christian, I also want someone who embraces my idea of waiting for marriage to live together and have sex. It feels like such an archaic idea that nobody believes in anymore, even among the Christian sector. But this idea has been ingrained in me since I was a little girl. It was how I was taught to live and even as I grew older and began experimenting with other things and ways of living, I’ve always come back to this.

I went out on two dates with a guy who is not a Christian for the experience. To find out more about myself and my dating style. To give me confidence and assurance that I’m not going to be alone for the rest of my life. But I also learned that I need to seek out men who identify with my faith. I don’t want to date a bunch of frogs just because that’s what you’re “supposed” to do. I want my dating life to have purpose and meaning. I never wanted to be a casual dater and I don’t think I could ever do that. I take my dating life very seriously, because I want each potential first date to be filled with butterflies and excitement, wondering if I’m meeting my future husband for the first time.

My second date with the guy I mentioned last week went well. But that’s all it went. Well. I didn’t feel that spark or connection. I tried to be as open and charming as I could be, but there wasn’t this need to know more about him and a need to keep the date going for as long as possible. I went from Tuesday until Sunday before talking to him and even then it was a 5-minute conversation. We didn’t talk again until our date on Friday night. I didn’t miss him, didn’t wonder how he was doing. Maybe I’m being too much of a romantic, but I want more from dating. I want someone I can’t get enough of, especially in those first stages of dating.

What this experience showed me is what I want out of dating. I’m glad I put myself out there, even in this small way. It gave me a confidence boost and was exactly what I needed at this point in time. I’m pretty sure I will not be detailing all my date escapades on this blog, because that’s just not the direction I want to take this blog in.

But I do know that I have a lot to offer someone and the right guy will come along someday. I’m just not going to date a lot of frogs to get to him.

Five For Friday: Things I’ll Miss

Today is my last day at the preschool where I have worked since February 2009. It was a job to have while I was in school and it has been an amazing place for me. My boss has been amazingly flexible with my weird school schedule. I have learned so much and I know today will be a bittersweet day. I am going to miss the kids and the people.

That said, I am so ready for a new challenge and to close this chapter in my life. For today’s Five For Friday, I’m writing about the things I’ll miss from this place. As excited as I am to finally leave my job behind, it’s been a good one for me and it’s not going to be easy leaving it all.

Five Things I’ll Miss

1. The kids. One of the best things about working in daycare is the relationship you build with the kids. I worked with children aged 2 months to 5 years old and saw so many of them go through all the stages. One of my favorite kids, E., I met when he was just 19 months old and now he’s a big, bad 4-year-old with attitude and the most inquisitive mind I’ve ever met. I have seen so many of the kids go through so many changes and they all hold a special place in my heart. In my old preschool, I was stuck in the “baby dungeon” and wasn’t able to meet many of the older kids. Here, all the kids know me by name and like me. And when a kid likes you? You know you’re golden. I am going to miss these little rugrats. I’m going to miss the questions, the hugs, the baby snuggles, the open-mouthed kisses, the teasing, the smiles, the giggles, the “brattitude” as my good friend likes to say, the wide range of personalities. I’m especially going to miss how one can never have a bad day when surrounded by children. They won’t let you.

2. The camaraderie. I have a great group of friends at this place. Some I developed really close friendships with and some I developed great working relationships. For the most part, I get along with everyone at my job. I can work with them all, although there are some I enjoy working with more than others. They have shown me unlimited support with my schooling, graduation, and job search. With each interview, I was wished good luck and asked about it the next day. They have been excited right along with me for my new job. I am hopeful I will find the same type of friendships and camaraderie with my new co-workers but they have set the bar high.

3. Knowing how to do every job. I’ve never been at a place where I feel so comfortable. I can step into any room and know the kids and the schedule. The kitchen is my home where I make breakfast every day for the kids, unload the lunches and breakfast (for the next day) that have been delivered, and even do lunch, if needed. I’ve become highly flexible and it’s a skill I can take into any future career.

4. My work BFF. I don’t even know how to put into words how much my relationship with this girl means to me. We were put in the same classroom, me as her assistant, for over a year and it was the best year I had there. We are so similar and she taught me so much. I firmly believe I would have passed my teaching internships had I learned from her first. Yes, a twenty-something with only her daycare certification taught me more about teaching and handling conflict in the classroom than veteran teachers with their Master’s degrees. She has been my go-to girl for venting about work and life, being my support system when I needed her, and always being someone I can laugh and joke with. I don’t know if I’ll ever have a work relationship like the one I had with her. What I do know is that our friendship will not end when this job does.

5. The easy hours. For the past year, my hours have been very hit and miss. On the one hand, it was great when I was in school and had afternoons free for classes and homework. On the other hand, it makes for super crappy paychecks. I leave before noon most days and it’s been a super easy schedule for me. I’m going to miss those afternoon naps.

August

via

August. Oh, August! I am so ready for this month. So many changes happening and all of them for the better. My life is going to look drastically different one month from today and I’m excited, but also slightly scared, for what’s coming up. July was a month mainly used for applying to jobs and trying to get my health back on track. I set 5 goals for myself:

1. Reorganize my room. Eh, somewhat. My room is a huge work-in-progress and for the majority of the month, we were in a holding pattern, deciding whether or not we were going to move. (Our rent is only going up by $20.) We’re staying here for one more year so I really need to get my room together. It’s a mess, currently, but I’m confident it will look more put together very soon. (First step: buying a dresser.)

2. Drink 1 liter of water a day. FAIL! Huge fail! While I have been consistently drinking water every day (which is a huge win) but drinking a whole liter every day is a big goal for me. I need to start smaller and focus more on when I’m drinking water, not so much how much. I don’t drink a lot by nature, so it’s more necessary for me to focus more on drinking more water than anything else (especially soda).

3. Start writing again. Another big fail. I did a little writing this month, but not much and definitely not at the level I need to be writing if I ever want to become a published novelist. I don’t know if I’ve just lost my motivation or inspiration, but my writing has stalled a lot this year.

4. Make a budget and stick to it. I didn’t even attempt this goal in July. But, honestly, there wasn’t much need with the money I’m making right now. But! I am starting a new job in August (have I mentioned it enough yet?!) and will be contributing to the bills much, much more. So I’m excited to actually make a budget and learn to play with my finances.

5. Apply, apply, apply to jobs. Oh, success. A big, big success. Maybe you didn’t hear? I was offered a job and START IN SIX DAYS? Oh, my God. Crazy, crazy! In the best possible way. (And yay, for the first time in 3 months, this goal won’t be on my list!)

August is going to be an incredibly busy month, but an incredibly awesome one. My goals are as follows: to start working and embrace my new role with gusto, complete VEDA as best I can, track my food every single day (even if I’m over my limit for the week), begin boot camp at my gym and try not to die, and finally, make a budget and stick to it.

What fun things do you have planned for August?

A Recap of July

 

July was pretty darn awesome. May was probably my favorite month of them all, but July is a very, very close second.

The month started with a fun weekend trip to Orlando for my mom’s birthday. She rarely does anything for her birthday and we needed a weekend away. We visited two water parks, shopped multiple times at Orlando’s amazing outlet mall -- which included a Vera Bradley and Loft outlet. I die. --, and had an amazing, relaxing time. I love hotels and just being in them feels like such a getaway.

July was the month I began to seriously discover online dating. Honestly, the whole dating thing seems tiresome and frustrating so it was never something I wanted to do. But I’ve started to realize how much I am holding myself back and online dating seems like the best option for me to put myself out there. Who knows what will come of it, but for the first time in my life, I am happy with how my “romantic” life is looking. (Not that a lot of romance is happening, persay...) Usually, I’m just frustrated with myself but I’m finally happy with my decisions and beginning to see I’m a pretty darn good catch.

This summer has been a weird one, for many reasons. There has been a lot of stuff happening lately that has made me take a deep, long look at my life and see who is adding positively to it and who is adding negatively to it. I’ve learned that family doesn’t always have your back and sometimes, amazing friendships can blossom online. I’ve learned that I’m not as reserved and shy as I think I am and letting my personality shine through during first encounters is important. I’ve learned I need to take a more active role in my life and stop letting past experience dictate my present.

I think the most exciting part of July happened last week when I was offered a job. The job search is finally over and I can begin my professional life! I am just so excited to begin this new journey and I think it’s going to cause me to grow in incredible ways. I will be working as a media assistant for a small company, assisting with marketing and advertising tasks. I begin August 10th and I couldn’t be more excited! Since my work wardrobe for the past two-and-a-half years has been loose khakis and oversized polos, I can’t even tell you how excited I am to begin shopping for cute business casual clothes and looking more professional on a daily basis!

I’m incredibly excited to see what August holds for me - a new career, another chance at VEDA, and spending time figuring out how to make the best life for me. Next month feels like it’s the beginning of something amazing and I can’t wait to discover it.

That Time I Was Offered a Job

It all felt anti-climatic. The moment I had been building up to for the past 3 months arrived in a very laid-back manner. A simple, “We’d like to offer you the job,” with his back to me as we walked into his office after meeting with the owners. The entire interview had built up to it, so it wasn’t exactly a surprise but it was still deeply exciting and surreal.

But let’s back up.

Tuesday was my second interview, where I would meet the guy who heads up the marketing/media department. The company helps promote giveaways for charities and I knew the position was exactly what I was looking for. Last week, I had interviewed with the woman I would be working for and it was an amazing interview. I instantly connected with her, which is very hard for me. She was energetic, outgoing, and had a supreme love for her job that made me excited. I was shown to her office (and subsequently, my future desk) and it all felt totally right. I felt comfortable there. For the first time ever, I felt as if I was in the office I would work in someday. The desk already felt like it was mine.

For the next week, I could only think about getting the job. I like to imagine the worst case scenario with all the jobs I interview for (and just in general! That glass is totally half-empty!) but as much as I tried to summon negative thoughts, they didn’t stay for long. I could only think about getting the job and putting in my notice at work and working for that company.

I was nervous as hell for this second interview. I knew things had gone well the first time around and I wanted this job more than anything. We didn’t chat for too long before he decided he wanted me to meet the owners, which I knew was a very good thing. Chatting with the owners was easy and comfortable, they made me feel completely at home and interested in getting to know me beyond my resume. And when they told the marketing head that they were giving me the green light, I knew something big was about to happen.

For the longest time, Monster and Career Builder were my avenues for job searching. And while those websites are amazing, they are also the place everyone who is job searching is looking. I knew I wasn’t standing out and I knew I had to find a new way to search. Enter Craigslist. I have never really used Craigslist before, but I thought I would give it a try. See what’s out there and just apply, apply, apply. I applied to about 5 jobs a day, in all different areas. Some in marketing, some in customer service, some in dreaded administrative assistant roles. Mainly, I wanted to work in marketing. During my internship, I worked on a lot of marketing tasks and it sparked a huge interest in this field. I knew I didn’t have the skills for a big-time marketing job, but I wanted a place to learn. A place where I would feel comfortable learning and growing and asking questions.

This position fulfills this need. It’s an assistant role, where I will be helping out the media manager with any tasks she needs. (As well as helping out other members of the marketing staff, when needed.) I will be doing everything from filing to research to working with spreadsheets and vendors. Most of all, I will be learning. I will be gaining skills in marketing and advertising. And the woman I will be working for? Well, she’s all sorts of amazing, which makes everything all the better.

I wasn’t under the disillusion that I would get a fantastic job right out of college. I was going to be satisfied with anything, even if it meant I had to be a customer service rep - which, by the way, might be the worst job in the world for someone who hates talking on the phone. I just wanted to leave my part-time job where I barely make enough to pay for the four bills I’m responsible for. I wanted to use my degree and be happy with what I’m doing. I wanted to stop be so financially dependent on my mother. I’m also not under the disillusion that this job is going to be puppies and rainbows. I know it’s going to be very busy, fast-paced, and hectic. I’m going to have to transition from 20-25 hour work weeks to 40-hour work weeks. I’m going to have to make new friends and do new things.

I’m happy. I am so, so happy. Job searching is over. I am employed. I am going to start a brand-new phase of my life. And I can’t wait to take you all along for the ride!

What job did you have right out of college? If you’re still in school, what field do you want to get into?

That Time I Went On a Date

I’ve never wanted to be the girl who dates. I don’t read dating blogs, because I don’t identify with them. I just want my future husband to knock on my door, introduce himself, and get down on one knee. Unfortunately, that’s not how the real world works. As much as I want to give up all control and sit back and let God handle my love life, I know I still need to be an active participant in my love story. He’ll guide my path, but I still need to walk along with Him.

I reactivated my OKCupid account in June. I’m still not totally sold on online dating, but I thought I would give it a try. I want to just get out there, see what can happen, and live bigger than I am now. For me, going to a bar with a guy I’ve never met in person on a date is living big.

I was filled with anxiety from the moment we set to date (Friday night) until the moment I met him (Tuesday night). I thought more of canceling it than I did of going there and having a great time. First of all, we met at a place that only served beer. (I hear they serve other stuff, but all I saw was beer.) I got flustered while talking to him on Friday that I just went with the suggestion he chose, never mind that I hate the taste of beer and have no real desire to acquire a taste for it. The date was set for 8:30, which I also tried to make a problem because that’s late for me when I get up at 5:00AM. And it interferes with my exciting Tuesday night plans I have of going to spin class, cooking dinner, and relaxing in front of the TV for a few hours.

I had a major freak out on Monday night that resulted in many tears and questions. The fact that I have been single for so long and date-less for so long has given me a lot of doubts about myself. I know I haven’t been putting forth the effort from my end, so I have nobody to blame but myself. I know this. But it’s hard to put yourself out there when you’ve been disappointed by men your whole life. Still, I had to do it. I had see what could happen.

The date was wonderful. I didn’t stay too long, maybe an hour and a half. He ordered a beer for me, after I told him I don’t drink beer and have no idea what to look for. It was nasty. I took 3 sips. I’m a terrible person to make him pay for that. (And he kept offering to get me a water so he gets 50 bonus points for that.) We went during a trivia night, which offered good entertainment. (Side note: I killed it in the trivia. I should have participated.) The conversation flowed so easily and he was great about asking questions and actually being interested in my answers. We laughed a lot and I was able to be my normal self with him. I didn’t feel self-conscious or weird or bored. I was genuinely happy to be there.

Not once in all the time I thought about my date did I think I would have a good time. I was hopeful I would have fun, but too caught up in my own panic to even think about that possibility.

So where does this leave us now? Well, I have a second date on Friday night. :) 

The biggest thing this date gave me was hope. Hope that I will find love one day, hope that I’m not as messed-up in the relationship department than I imagined, hope that I can open my heart up. Maybe he’ll call, maybe he won’t. But at least I gave it my best shot and I can move forward knowing dating isn’t as scary as it once seemed.